Getting your heart broken is something you can never prepare yourself for. It hurts to even breathe sometimes. So many women have beat themselves asking themselves what they could have done differently to prevent their relationships from breaking up.
However if you want to move on with your life then here are 52 ways you can use to lessen the pain and learn to move on with your life.
Vent out your feelings in any of the following ways; running (at dawn where there are few people around is best), other forms of exercising to get your mind focusing on your body instead of your pain.
Stop blaming yourself for whatever you did wrong in the relationship. Whether you blame yourself or not, it’s over. The most important thing is to move on.
Learn to forgive your ex for whatever he did to you.
Chocolate; you can’t go wrong with that.
Wear the one outfit your ex hated to see you wear
Watch the most horrific movies you could ever think of. Not thinking of your ex for a couple of hours because you’re scared out of your wits can help you slowly get over your pain
Sleep, as much as you can. Sleep. But try and learn how to sleep without any assistance like pain killers or alcohol. If not, you’ll get better but still be dependent on them.
Watch music videos of your favorite artist.
Write down all the things your ex did that you shouldn’t have forgiven easily or that you forgot.
Do something you like; a hobby or any activity that you really love doing
Involve yourself in activities jogging, mini farming, voluntary work etc. These will uplift you and help you to refocus your life.
Keep a diary of everything you do and take time twice a month or more to read your progress of life after the relationship.
If you meet someone you like, go ahead and accept the person in your life. However make sure that you really want to fall in love with them. The worse thing you could do is to punish them for what your ex did.
Make friends with guys, platonic ones mind you and hang out with them. If there’s one of them you can take as your confidant, confide your ex issues with him. Being a man, he can give you in depth knowledge of why your ex might have made certain decisions.
Whatever you do, don’t fall for this confidant. The mistake people do is when they start sharing their heartbreak with someone who is empathetic and fall for them. You’re too vulnerable now and wouldn’t see all the red flags this person will be exhibiting. Don’t like them too much and focus on why you need to talk to them. Nothing more than that
Pamper yourself with something you’d wanted for a long time but had never really gotten to having that thing. It could be traveling, a shoe, dress or even a job you had wanted to apply for. Nothing is holding you back now, go for it.
If there are children involved, sit them down and assure them of your love. Children usually blame themselves for their parents’ heart break. Assure them that that is not the case. Spend time with them. You’re not the only one hurt, they are too.
Keep it in not out. Every woman that’s been heart complain to everything that will listen about what happened. Letting people know about your business will leave them open to thing anything about you or even give you the wrong advice. So my advice, tell the info to the few people you trust but with all the others, keep your mouth zipped.
Let him go. Don’t think of revenge. Just don’t think about him or anything to do with him.
Get off social media for a while. We always post personal stuff about our daily lives through status updates, photos and even videos. After your break up don’t. You might be tempted to write intimate stuff that could easily go viral. Trust me, you wouldn’t want the pressure of having thousands of people sharing your innermost turmoil.Take a break from the social media ‘crowd’ and occupy your mind and time with something else.
Get rid of anything that will remind you of him. If you don’t mind keeping them, pack them up and store them in a corner of your house where you rarely go.
Go somewhere alone. However, if you can’t trust yourself not to cry or something else go along with someone you trust. There are so many places you can visit and just let the ambience of those places help get your mind off all your hearts and pain.
Don’t follow him. Avoid going to places where you know he’ll be at just to ‘see him.’ And don’t be tempted to make him jealous by using somebody else to make him think you’re dating again. At the end of the day you only open yourself to more hurt.
However if there’s no way you can avoid him. If you’re colleagues, too bad unless you can resign (highly unlikely right) but even as colleagues you can adopt a business-only attitude to avoid any awkwardness that might have come between you. If you’re in the same association or even staying close to each other, keep all your meetings civil. Respect yourself enough to never let him know how much you’re hurting. You don’t need his pity.
No betweeners. Bringing your friends into this by sending them on ‘she’s missed you’ errands is a no, no.
Write down all the lessons you’ve learnt out of the relationship and how you feel about them. Refer to them as often as you can. It will help you in your next relationship.
If your ex comes calling for you to become ‘friends’ again. Ask him for some time to heal first. Not healing enough before agreeing to any friendship could lead into a situationship where you haven’t gotten back together but you’re having sex and he’s refusing to give you any hope. You would end up hurting more after you end up breaking up again.
This leads me to my next point; don’t sleep with him. Whatever your reason for sleeping with your ex is invalid. The fact is it’s over. Missing him or the sex or both and having him only makes the healing process take too long.
If he wants you to get back together, let him give you some time before accepting or not. This will help you avoid making any hasty decisions.
If the relationship breaking up was as a result of something that you did; lying, cheating etc, after a reasonable time has passed, apologize to your ex. However, if they refuse to listen to you, back away.
Keep your friends separate. Perhaps you had friends in common. No matter how great they are, avoiding being with them will help you in the long run. You won’t find yourself caught in awkward pauses when they mention him and they won’t feel uncomfortable around you. If they don’t mind however, avoid using them as bugging devices to know what’s going on his life.
Learn to love being single. Some single ladies hate being single and become so desperate that they make mistakes in choosing a guy to be with. Learn to like doing things and making decisions alone. Learn to love your company. Note this: there are so many married people who are living alone.
Stop thinking of what you would be doing with your ex if the two of you were still together. You’re not together, are you?
Stop punishing yourself over your ex. Some women sleep around, dress anyhow etc just to compensate (in their minds) for what they’ve been through. Breaking up is the only punishment you need and it’s happened. Move on.
Get the closest people you’ve ever loved closer. If you shunned their company because of your ex, it’s time to mend the fences.
Working through the day one day at a time gets a bit overwhelming at times. You might find yourself breaking down occasionally and wonder why you’re not getting over your heartbreak. Just deal with it a day at a time.
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Plan all your activities a week even a month, if you can, in advance. This will avoid letting too many things overwhelm you.
Reward yourself each day you’re not able to think of him for a few hours. This will let your heart (your mind) find reasons to forget him.
No alcohol, cigarettes or anything you could easily get addicted to. Getting yourself hooked on those substances doesn’t hurt him, only you. If you think that will bring him back to you, it will only lead him to resent you and worse mistreat you.
Don’t blackmail him to take you back. If he truly loved you he’d have come back for you. Forcing his hand will only make him hate you and he could hurt you worse than he has already.
Avoid thinking of having wasted your time. You haven’t. What you’ve done is to learn another lesson in life and about love that will help you or someone you love dearly in future.
Get back to being you. So many women found themselves changing gradually to please their men. After the relationship, they find themselves lost without that continuous guidance. My sister, you don’t need it anymore. Remember all the good qualities you laid aside for your man and learn to be that person again. If you’d rather not, it’s time you carved a new path that doesn’t need constant coaching from anyone.
Accept the fact that the relationship is over. A lot of women refuse to believe or even convince themselves that they can make the relationship work again and end up hurting themselves more.
Don’t go after your rival. Let your ex’s new flame be. If you have a problem with your ex then let it be so but not the new woman in his life.
Help someone or people. When you’re in pain nothing helps you release it faster than doing acts of kindness. You could help someone you know or even a complete stranger. This will bring home the fact that somebody has it worse than you.
Watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman by Tyler Perry. There are so many lessons to be learnt in that movie about love, betrayal and most of all forgiveness.
Learn to respect the boundaries you’ve made or have had to make because of your partner.
Allow yourself to grieve over the loss of your partner. Everybody regrets losing something they love so it is natural to feel pain. Don’t hold back. Letting yourself feel will actually help you get over it quickly.
Stop comparing yourself to others. You could find yourself looking at other couples and comparing their lives with yours. That would only end up bruising your already sore heart.
Stop making up excuses to still be heartbroken. This is something that a lot of people consciously or unconsciously do. After a heartbreak we realize somewhere along the line that it doesn’t hurt so much but we feel guilty about it or still wanting sympathy, force ourselves to still be broken-hearted. You don’t need this.
Go for counseling. If you find yourself unable to cope after some time has passed, see a counsellor.
Remember that nothing is permanent on earth. This will help you appreciate anybody who comes into your life for whichever length of time.