We went into marriage as everyone does. Happy and hopeful for the future. Little did we know that we were about to face a lot of trying times that would break us up. My husband knew of my weaknesses before asking me to marry him and so did I know of his weaknesses before saying, “I do” to him. The first few weeks after the honeymoon was easy but slowly, the newness and happiness started fading.
He stopped coming home early, our way of communication dropped and suddenly, he wouldn’t eat the meals I prepared. I got worried. We hadn’t even done three months and everything was turning round. I kept asking him what the issue was but he refused to talk to me. So I chalked it to coming down from the “honeymoon” phase of our renewed love.
I did everything a good wife would, tried to be patient, hoping for a change but there was none. Then I started to compare. I would leave home for work and it’s like all I would see were happy couples everywhere. I would open social media and there would be a happy couple being thrown at my face. I felt alone and trapped. I wanted what I was seeing out there. A happy home and a healthy relationship.
There were thoughts of keeping on with the questions and so, I started bugging him for answers. In doing that, I became desperate and a nag. One who could use hurtful words and actions. If he ignored me, I ignored him. I didn’t cook for him again. One time, he came home hungry. He asked for food and I reminded him he hadn’t been eating from home. It sparked our first big fight, which led to others and brought us to where we are today.
We became like the cliché husband and wife who were just roommates. At a year of marriage, we had deteriorated from the roommates to enemies. Thank God we don’t have a child. I can’t imagine what it would have done to our lives. I wanted to make this work but how can only one person be fighting themselves in a ring? The other person also has to do something.
It’s true. This world, things are not always the way they seem. Everyone will get married but it’s not every marriage that will end in a happy ever after. I don’t know what caused the switch. I know I tried to make it work but we all have our breaking points.
If he comes around to making us work, I’ll gladly do this with him, I’ve given myself another year. If I don’t see any change, I’ll do what he is afraid to do, ask for a separation. If things don’t change after that, then I believe we’ll be headed for more than a separation.