THE MARRIAGE TABLE: I Was Calmly Surprised.

During the dating to the courting stage, it’s only normal that you talk about how you want to plan your family; the number of kids you want to have, their spacing and other important details. This is how I got to know he wanted three boys and maybe a girl. I wanted equal numbers for each gender. What brought about a fight was about which gender to have first. Obviously, he wanted us to have a boy first and I wanted a girl first.

If I had followed that discussion, I probably wouldn’t be here to share this today. It was one of the worst arguments we had. Something that should have been discussed and left to God, we took it into our own hands as if we had the power to make the gender of our babies. We didn’t reach a peaceful agreement and we were mad at each other for days. Now, I don’t remember who even made the first move towards reconciliation or why we let that argument carry on for that long.

Things could have gone wrong, I know. Some people would have left the relationship with how things turned out about babies in a marriage but I still went ahead to marry him and I must thank God that he is a good person and allows himself to be taught or worked on by God. So, we had a beautiful wedding and proceeded to live as man and wife. I went and brought up this topic and how he reacted, again I am sure some women would have left.

 I mean, why would a grown up man, who is educated and knew how babies are formed be so particular about having a son first? Aren’t both sexes equally a blessing from above? I let it pass and enjoyed my marriage as it was. Then I got pregnant. After a few hours of jubilation and finding it hard to believe I was going to be a mother, I got scared. You know why right? I didn’t know how my husband was going to take it. I was sure I would have no peace if it wasn’t a boy.

So I hid it from him for a week. That’s how far I could go. He is very observant and I am sure he had noticed some changes in me and so I felt it was okay to let him know. He was overjoyed. We were going to be parents. Wow. He said the feeling was like a dream. He couldn’t believe he was going to be a father. Then when it dawned on him about his desires for a boy. He went quiet and sat down. I felt we were in for trouble.

His actions were off. You couldn’t tell whether he was happy or not so one day I came to him with a proposition. We were not going to find out about the gender of our baby until when we had him or her. He only said okay and that was it. I had hoped he would say no and that we should check when the time came but he seemed okay with my suggestion. Okay. I let it go. Then he changed.

He stayed out late, he wouldn’t come to bed or he would come to bed very late. I didn’t know what to make of it and I was yearning to ask him about what was going on.  The months kept rolling away until in my eighth month. One late evening, I woke up. For the hundredth time. Babies seem to control your bladder so I was waking up to pee every now and then. I saw that the light on the hall was in, I walked in and found my husband asleep. What I saw was a pleasant surprise.

He was surrounded by a stack of books, about babies, childcare, setting up a nursery, assisting the new mother but what was the greatest shock of all was finding about two or more books bout caring for a female baby. I was so happy I cried. I tip toed to bed. So this was his great secret? My husband had been learning all he could so as to surprise me when I gave birth. Especially if I were to give birth to a girl.

I also changed from that day. I loved him some extra more. I did and said things that showed support and care. He didn’t know I had found out but he loved it. When I put to bed, I had a girl. He didn’t seem bothered and I was grateful. He opened up later and we spoke about it. He had come to terms with everything and knew he couldn’t have it his way, that this was turning into an obsession.

Now, he is a better mom than I am. We have two girls and a third is on the way. I am praying God finally gives us a son. At this point, I think we have both learnt our lesson and need another sex. But my husband is cool with being a girl dad tho. Lol.

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Written by East@Edito468

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