THE MARRIAGE TABLE: I Feel Guilty After Our Emotional Affair. (2)

He wasn’t someone who I would call my type but there was something that drew me close to him. My husband had been retreating into his shell and he wasn’t giving me much attention. We weren’t really bonding as a husband and a wife should. So when this new guy started doing everything I yearned for from my man, I went along with it. I felt like I was being swept inside a whirl wind.

Also, he didn’t appear as someone who was harmful. He was kind, fun and respectful of my stature as a married woman. He seemed so innocent that I didn’t think twice about what was happening or where things were leading. And it was also like my husband didn’t care. He also didn’t notice the change at home or was ignoring it. He can really do things to make you feel like he is punishing you.

When we have a fight, whether he is at fault or not, he finds a nice way to make you the sole guilty person. Now, after one of these fights, the other guy asked me to take a walk with him. He lived two hoods away from us and sometimes we bumped into each other on our way to or from work. We also worked kind of closely. I mean his workplace wasn’t far from mine. So, when he asked that we go for a walk, out of anger I went with him.

His voice was soothing. He seemed to understand my feelings and moods. I found myself pouring out everything happening back at home to him. Sometimes, after giving me a piece of advice, he would urge me to give it a try at home. I would and it would work so well. Wow. This made me fall back on him a lot. He became a friend; a sort of therapist and counsellor. As to when and how our friendship changed, I don’t remember.

Our conversations went form purely friend like and general life news and information to people who were getting to know each other on a deeper level. I had had my son by now and post-partum depression was dealing with me severely and mercilessly. My husband, again wasn’t really home and wasn’t even doing much from where he was to make things easier for me. We lived far from any of our families and although both our mothers had promised to come soon, they hadn’t been able to, yet.

Therefore it was mostly me and this new found friend or should I say, developing crush. I was beginning to find him appealing. He wasn’t all that tall but he was muscular enough. He had this sweet smile that could melt you and bring you to your knees. On several occasions, I found myself wondering how it would be to find myself hugging him or receiving even a peck from him. It made my body warm up in delightful way.

After two months, close to three months, my mother was able to come. My maternity leave was even getting due. Having my mother around helped ease things. My husband also came home around that time but I still found time for my crush. Our conversations were beginning to get flirty and sometimes I would try to steer the conversation onto neutral grounds.

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THE MARRIAGE TABLE: I Feel Guilty After Our Emotional Affair.

There Was A Secret They Didn’t Want Us To Know.