We have been married for six and a half years and we have been blessed with two children. We are doing well at work, at church, in our friendships and with the kids but our marriage is just there. Everything has changed. He has changed, I have changed. Even our way of love has changed. We used to be lovey dovey even when we had our kids but now I am even lucky if I should get a peck.
The dynamics of our lives have been transformed. I try to be accepting of everything and hope for a wind of change. For now, I make do with what life has presented me with: A 9-5 job, childcare, housekeeping and the rest. The other night, I yearned for a just a touch as we watched our kids play, he sat by me like a stranger and focused all his attention on the kids.
Our lovemaking has literally been non-existent. The last time we tried to get it on, the children burst into our room. We had to quickly dress up before they got to the bed and attend to them. Children, they have a way of making everything about them. Our date nights have been turned into teaching homework and playing with the children. We have to share our weekends with our children and other functions such as weddings and funerals.
The biggest change right now is our bodies. When we were getting married, I was this slim, sexy body. After two children, I have become like a sack, the one for storing cocoa no. My husband hasn’t stayed the same either. He used to tease me about the excess weight I have gained from childbirth and over the years. I would look at him and point to his stomach, which had started protruding.
He wpild say it’s called a “dad board” a surface for our children to rest on and a cushion for every head. Now, he has also added weight, his dad board isn’t cute anymore and he wears glasses now. I don’t really like how we look. We look like two sacks with two little potatoes trailing after us. We tried gyming for a week and fell off. It was too much pressure for us but I wish we could work on this. Perhaps, it would bring up other things and give me that turn around I seek.
I don’t understand. Why is it like that in marriage? You start of so well, you tell yourselves you will do anything to preserve you but life happens and you are left with things you don’t want and a person who looks back at you in the mirror and you wonder, “Who is that?” hmmm, I am tired and stressed about everything. I really want to return to the beginning.
I am thinking of siting my husband down and talking to him about everything. I am relaxed because I wonder if he hasn’t noticed the changes. It seems he doesn’t care about the turn of events and I don’t want to start something that might not end well.