Last year, when we were on lockdown, Jesus didn’t resurrect but our marriage did. Having being married for only three years with two kids, we had lost the spark in the marriage. It was now pregnancy, childbirth, baby, baby, baby. You try to have a conversation, the baby cries. When you press your wife, the toddler stares at you. When you kiss your wife, hei. Another wahala. They would begin to cry and scream as if someone was cutting their heads off.
Ei, children of today. So someone can take money to go and marry a woman and they would come and find a nice way to steal her from you. What made me stop trying to connect with my wife or seek attention from her was when one time I playfully squeezed her breast. She gave me this look and said, “Please please, don’t try anything funny. They are for the babies” They are for the babies like how? Something that I have “bought and paid for” no?
From that day, I turned myself into a monk. It’s not easy to lie by your wife, having a burning desire to be intimate with her but you couldn’t even venture. Hm, this was my own version of “Your eyes will see Canaan but your feet won’t enter the promised land” I was always suppressing my feelings for her until a day came that I didn’t even care again.
Then she was now worrying me. I looked at her and laughed. “Madam, this is a monk you are talking to, better turn yourself into a nun” She slept that night like she was fighting with someone in her dreams. Asem ooh, my body that me I don’t want to give up as a burnt offering unto the Lord no, you are vexed. Ah well. So, that was how a lovely married couple was turned into a monk and a nun marriage.
The house became so charged with this sexual tension. In fact, you could even smell it. Yet still, we lived lives of focused childcare. This one would cry and daddy would tend to her. The other would hold onto the mother’s breast and it would be given freely to him. How jealous I was anytime I saw him sucking. I don’t know if children of today have some kind of sixth sense, he would look at me, midway through his sucking and giggle at me. Evil child.
Hmm, Jesus couldn’t resurrect last Easter ooh. I’m sure you know. Please no one should come for me. But it’s true he didn’t. So instead of resurrecting, he gave us the resurrection powers. In fact, the power was given to me, the man. I decided to resurrect something in my marriage. So this was how my wife had put our son to bed as I was also putting our daughter to bed. We met in the kitchen and the match started from there.
I was looking for my wife to inform her about somethings we would need during the week. I found her cleaning up the kitchen and I leaned in the doorway, observing her for a while before pulling up behind her and planting a soft kiss on her neck. Hmmm, sɛɛ na Rev. Sister nso ayɛ ready. She was chuckling and trying to push me away. I held onto her until she was done cleaning. Offering to help with other things.
Then she turned to face me and smiled. I smiled back. “I miss you” I said softly whilst looking into her eyes. She smiled shyly and replied, “I miss you too”. Then the stone was rolled away. I carried her into the bedroom and the rest, as they say, is history. Funny enough, those two little creatures didn’t wake up throughout the night or make a sound. Indeed, Jesus was in the vicinity. The following morning too, we continued. These two dictators didn’t wake up.
The truth is, we had even forgotten about them. It was that good. When I tried stopping the car, my wife was like, “Oh forget about those two. I need this right now” Eei, this one that had been their defender no, today she needed this? Mmmm, let me just end by saying it was an Easter to remember. Those two people are still tormenting our lives but whenever we decide to have fun, it’s like they also go into some deep sleep. They don’t worry us until we are done.