You know how when you start dating someone new you have this optimistic view of life and love? Yeah, we did too….. Until we didn’t. He was a business student in the final year whilst I was pursuing a degree in education when we met. In the beginning, it was a distance relationship because we were on two different university campuses but again, once the flames of love are young, you are determined not for it to die. You do everything to grow and nurture it.
Final year in the university comes with a different level of stress and deadlines. Do this work, submit it by close of day, go rewrite this part of your thesis. That was his life then but I was his rock, the one he could always fall back on and I didn’t want to disappoint him or burden him with all that I was facing. Time passed and he graduated, it was one of the best times in our love story.
Seeing him dressed handsomely, wearing his graduation attire and gown and walking with all that pride to take his certificate of First Class made me beam with so much happiness. After the ceremony, he couldn’t wait to show me off and take me to see his family. His family were a bit taken aback because that was the least of surprises they had been expecting for that day but hey, they had to be happy for their son. He believed he had found someone good and wanted to share it with them.
After that, life seemed to be passing like a dream. Our lives didn’t get easier but we found ways to keep what we had going. He found time to visit me at least once every semester and I couldn’t wait to vacate and spend most of my weekends with him. We believed that where we had gotten to with respect to our relationship was a breaking point for most couples and we celebrated how far we had come and all we had overcome.
I think that was when things took a nosedive. When you become full of yourself, you let go of all the hard work you have done and begin to rest on your achievements. He became relaxed in all the things he was doing that to me proved his love and made me love him more. I lashed out at him and he also made me aware of how I wasn’t living up to the ideal girlfriend and future wife I had started out to be.
A friend once told me that love stories that begin with so much vim and vigour die out quickly but ours hadn’t started in that way. We had been careful, we had been intentional and we had been committed. Yet still the flames of our love started diming. Now that we were close and not doing long distance, it was now that our relationship was hitting the rocks. How sad. There were more fights and tantrums and power struggles.
During a fight one night, he kept saying if I wanted to end things, I should be quick about it. I also retorted angrily, you might have also thought about leaving. If you are not happy again, you can walk out. That was it. That was the last call and the last words we said to each other. Nobody made a move to fix things and so everything came to an end.
There are days that I find myself doing “What ifs”. I tell myself he wasn’t meant for me, neither was I meant for him if this happened and we both couldn’t figure out a way to make it work. Arguments can make you lose interest in a relationship quick. Not to talk about miscommunication. I don’t really know what went wrong again. I can name a lot of contributing factors to our break up but there was never any major issue.
Well, life must go on. Love is a lesson to be learned at each corner and junction of our lives. I have loved and I have lost. I will love again. I know he will love again too. If we do come back together, that wouldn’t be bad. If we continue to go our separate ways, that isn’t bad either.