Wedding planning can be stressful. I had heard about it but when it hit me, I wasn’t prepared for it. From coordinating for food, drinks, the venue for reception, dresses and makeup and capturing the day’s events it was a full time job. My husband and I were planning most things ourselves because we didn’t have the funds to afford a wedding planner. Our families helped with some but the heavy decisions fell back on us.
Throughout our dating and courting, we hadn’t really spoken or shared our tastes in music. It only came up during the wedding preparations. When we finally got a DJ for our ceremony, we are exhausted, yet we wanted to have a sit down with the DJ and plan some of the songs we would love to have played at our wedding: being the traditional and the white wedding.
We met with the gentleman in an open restaurant. We ordered for something light and talked for a while before getting down to business. It was then that the quarrels begun. He likes these modern artistes like Kirk Franklin, Joyce Blessing, Stonebwoy, Sarkodie, Burna Boy and Teni. Well, I also like Teni a bit. I, on the other hand like the oldies: Cindy Thompson, Amy Newman, Stella Dugan, Gyedu Blay Ambolley, Daddy Lumba and Kwadwo Akwaboah. He was irritated and couldn’t understand how an educated and fine young woman like me didn’t like and appreciate thes artistes he liked.
I was horrified that he spoke so lowly of my taste in music. Seeing trouble brewing, the DJ left us to figure things out. I was boiling with anger so I left him at the restaurant. No one wanted to bugde. He wanted our traditional wedding to be filled with songs from Shatta Wale, Kidi, Sarkodie and the rest. I wanted to hear cool and relaxing songs from the old Gospel artistes and the Highlife artistes. He said “no” to mine, I replied “never” to his.
The whole wedding planning was stressing me out, one evening he called me to talk about our music taste. I wouldn’t budge and he also didn’t appear to compromise, then he said out of anger, “If you won’t let us think about the playlist then no wedding” I chuckled and said, “This thing has been a nightmare, I’m tired of everything already, you can go ahead and cancel”
Everything we had been doing came to a standstill. Our wedding was hanging on by a thread. I didn’t care. I would wake up and go about my life like nothing was going on. Our parents were worried about what was happening. He also behaved as if there was nothing at stake. His mother said one morning he didn’t go to work, he was pacing up and down their corridor, shouted and brought out his phone.
He started calling people to cancel. His mother snatched his phone and scolded him. “You think marriage is for your childish tantrums?” He looked at his mother and rested his back on the wall. I was told his father sat him down and spoke to him. Funny enough, my parents had aslo sat me down at that same time to talk to me. Just when I was about to call him, he entered our compound his phone blasting away Daddy Lumba’s “M’anya M’ade Dɛɛdɛ” I also met him with Shatta Wale’s “Baby Come Chop Kiss”. The whole thing was so funny. We hugged and apologized to each other.
On our wedding day, we found a way to blend our different tastes in music. I was so surprised and grateful that my husband made them play Nana Ttufour’s “Odo Yɛ Nteaseɛ” for our first dance.
I will always appreciate his thoughtfulness and cherish our first dance. We still have different tatses in music but we are learning to blend them, I only hope we don’t drive our kids crazy with our taste in music.