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Was I Wrong In Saying What I Did?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I feel guilty about something i said to my boyfriend of almost a year and half. I love him and for a lot of reasons I feel he loves me but I always catch him flirting (not physically though) with other women. On several occasions he promised to turn a new leaf. He would be perfect for a few days and then misbehave behind my back, which I always find out.

He finally decided to go off FB for a while because of this habit of flirting. I tried to convince him that it was more about self discipline but he still insisted and vowed never to go back to it because he wanted us to work out. That week I had terrible dreams and told him. I perceived they were spiritual attacks because he was doing things right but I was inwardly happy. Things started getting better so i continued to pray he stays that way because we were happy.

Then about two weeks later he suddenly called and went back on his word with the excuse that he was promoting ‘his brand’ something I once motivated him to do. When we met he was in a broken state and constantly helped him get better. Auntie Abena, since that day to date, I haven’t seen him do any branding (Note: Facebook is his main market for flirting)

He’s now insisting and making it look like I am against his brand (Note I have been his biggest promoter all this time. He tells me his friends compliment me to him) He mostly doesn’t keep his word to me and with the least misunderstanding will flirt with another girl. In this case he didn’t have the decency to apologise for going back on his word.

I’m hurt and feeling disrespected that I told him I wanted out. Breaking up is not the problem, though I miss my friend in him, the problem is by nature I can’t stand feeling that I may have caused someone pain even when I am in pain.

Here is my major concern. In anger, I told him he wasn’t adding value to my life and so it’s over and then blocked him. When the pain was better I unblocked and noted he blocked me. Was I too hash? Was it ok to say he wasn’t adding value to my life?
I would like to walk about knowing, I did the right thing in the right way.

Want to share your story anonymously kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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