DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Thank you for the good works that you’re doing. I want your noble fans to help me on how to cope with this experience. Now to my story.
I’m a nurse in one of the hospitals in the Central Region. Actually, I’m a very reserved person but I always try to give my best for my patients’ welfare. During one of my shifts at one of the wards, I came across a female patient in her twenties. I was on afternoon duty and the lady (patient) was admitted in the morning.
It is a normal routine for me to check up on my patients anytime I get to the ward, so during my rounds I came across her. She smiled at me, and damn, that’s the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. My heart just melted. I drew closer to her and had a chat with her.
During medication time, I went to her bedside to administer her medication and also fed her. I sensed she was a helpless patient. I then wrote my number on a sheet of paper and asked her to call me. Two days later, she was discharged (I was off then). She called me and we chatted throughout the evening.
Long story short, we became best of friends (we could have become something more ) even though it lasted for only two weeks. The following week, she called to complain of restlessness, my instincts were troubling me so I sought for directions from her to her house and met her in an unpleasant state. I convinced her parents to allow me take her to the facility for treatment which they obliged.
We took her to the hospital and I stood by her bedside from morning till 3am. Whiles on oxygen, I asked her to promise me that she will hold on and not leave me, she promised. Around 3:30am, I was feeling hot so I decided to go home and take a shower. On my return, around 5am, I came to meet her dead body and hell broke loose). I was totally broken. Her mother told me she kept asking of me till she passed out. I couldn’t hold my tears and frustrations. Even though she’s been buried, I always feel scared whenever I see a lady of her age on admission.
On the ward, I keep seeing her whenever I get to that particular bed on which she passed. I have this feeling that she would have survived if I didn’t leave her bedside. I can’t seem to forget about the incident. I liked her like a sister but now I’m beginning to feel I was in love with her.
This feeling of guilt and seeing her around is taking a toll on me, my work and my daily life. How do I move on?