in

#ThisMarriage: Should We Divorce or Not?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good day oo.
God bless you with your good work.

This marriage errr ate meni so (I’ve really regretted getting married)

Lemme carry on, I’m 28 and he is 32? We dated for 9 years and have been married for 4 years making it 13 years. I thought I knew him too well but I was deceiving my own self. I had countless miscarriages and God being sooo good, I got pregnant again and went to see my doctor.

He then advised me to come to the hospital for “No baby, No home” ? eiiii. I was like what’s that. He said I should come for bed rest till delivery ? Well I had no option than to do so. I was schooling and also working but not staying in the same region with this dude. Auntie Abena, this negga wasn’t working oo. I kept us going all the time but because I loved him with everything I had, I covered him allllllll the time to the extent of him not making himself available at the hospital till I delivered.

Dude still didn’t appear to see his own baby all in the name of he doesn’t have money ?? Herrr hmmmmm! Hospital bills negga say no money. My parents had to help me all throughout. God bless you mum and dad! Dad drove 8 hours to pick me up from the hospital. I came home naaa dude came to the house to see the baby and he was so happy to have his own because man was tired for this baby thing. On the day I gave birth, this guy called my dad and said he will name the baby after him.

A couple of months later, I was in the house when my mum in-law who never liked me when we were dating till marriage came to me that her son sent her to bring me something! She then held my baby girl and say, “eiii she is very small papa.” ? I told her, “I thank God I have a child. I’m more interested in her living and not fatness! Well she left.

My mum came from the market and we opened the bag. There were a couple of baby things, GH¢200 and the baby’s name which dude named the baby after his father without even discussing with me. In fact I cried and called dude that, “massa, why all these?” He then said, “I am sorry but in my tribe if you are the first born, you have to name your first child after your father.” I said, “okay oo but why didn’t you discuss this with me first?” then he hanged up. Hmmmmmm.

I later WhatsApped him when to name the baby then we both fix a date, which we both were cool with it! My sisters don’t marry someone just because you think you have been with the person for a long time ooo because marriage errr, it can cost you a lifetime. Hmm. After the date was set, I didn’t hear from my man and his parents ahhhhh till the day we all were in church. He came there with his friend’s parent and some fam. Hmmmm we closed norr I went home bɔkɔɔ. Not knowing they really prepared.

He brought some pastries ? and they all marched into our house SMH. We also already did something small in the house and they enjoyed well. I was in the room when my paps came to call me to come out but I said I have a lil headache. Asem no ɛdɔɔso oo (it’s a long story) hmmmm like 3 months later I moved to my matrimonial home. ? Hmmm my dear husband wasn’t helpful in anything. I did everything in the house ?I carried water, moving up and down but he behaved as if he hadn’t seen me. All this while he expected me to cook without even giving me chop money too.

He was gyming too during the given birth time I has (CS) so with the pains in my waist, I couldn’t even stand so I complained to his dad who said he will talk to him! One night bi he packed all his clothes and move out without telling me anything. A week later, I talked to one of his friends and he said my hubby was in tamale oops ? 2 months later, he came with 2 sachets of cerelac ? We were staying in my father’s crib so negga wasn’t paying bills ooo, no light bill, no water bill. I mean nothing, aswear with my child?

I was all alone all this while doing things for myself! By the time he comes home, I would have prepared food but he will be well drunk so I moved from the room we both were in to another room with my baby. It’s been a couple of months now and nothing has changed so I told him I want a divorce. He told me then I should send his drink back to his family. Eiii my heart ? My fear was that our community people will talk a whole lot. Hmmm I never proceed with the divorce oo. I thought I was saying that for him to change or something but one night dude was drank and I overheard him talking to his dad that he should send my drink because he is tired of this disrespectful marriage.

I said wow. All because of my baby I have been in this marriage and till now nothing has changed. Now my baby is two years! The most painful thing is we’re all in one town. Since he gave me the GH¢200 for my baby’s naming nothing else and not a single call mpo ??? Not a single call to even say happy birthday to my baby ? Not even pepper from my mum in-law ???

During June, my husband came to my room to apologize that I should forgive and forget because he has gotten a new job. That I should free my heart so things will be okay for him. Even if we have to divorce it should be in peace. I said ok but he went back to his room and chatted me that he wanna spend the night with me. I asked him will he free me from this marriage. He said yes ??? but I was kidding oo I wanted to know if he still loves me ????

All he wants now is sex especially doggy? me too na me di bi akyɛ paa like 1 year (I hadn’t had sex for a year)! So that night I needed him. Immediately he talked about sex na me twɛba nu ɛsere sei kwa kwa kwa! (My clitoris started smiling). He came in. I know what I want so when he came in noorr I opened my legs to XXL. I am a thick lady with back and front so when he touched my nipples norr eish jeeez, I froze.

We started Adam and Eve????? ooh but in only 5 seconds he had cum. Ahh. He stood up and went back into his room. He knows what doggy does to me but we didn’t even reach there ?? na ma yɛ mɔbɔ papa. In fact that night if I had a boyfriend I would have gone there to continue efiri sɛ na me twɛ mu afɔ sei (I was so wet)? Gosh. Up to now I want to chop dick?

Well the next day, he said he is going to work. One week na ɔmba fie (he didn’t come home) so I personally sent his drink to his parents but they didn’t take it.
My mum in-law didn’t even allow us to enter their room so I told my pops in-law that I will stay at the corridor for our conversation! They asked me to go and that they will come back to see my parents. I went and indeed they came. Both sets of parents discussed it, my in-laws talked talk to their son and my parents too talked to me. We both agreed to the divorce so they fixed another date to meet.

Everyone was busy till the Sunday after. We meet every Sunday but my husband’s parents never showed up till my dad called my pops in-law to find out why! He asked my dad that why didn’t he call when he was ready. My dad said, “we all decided to meet on Sunday so why do you want us to call before! Hmmm as I am typing I came to Accra because bydad sent me! I was not feeling well so I decided to go to hospital only to find out that I am 17 weeks pregnant!

Auntie Abena with just 5 seconds sex, I can’t be pregnant like that. I called my parents to tell them I wanted to abort this innocent baby ??? Up till now I don’t know the whereabouts of my dear husband yet my parents want me to keep the baby! I don’t know whether I am married or single.

This Sunday we waited and they didn’t show up. This has been going on for the past 4 months now! Now dad wants me to give birth before we proceed with the divorce and the guy doesn’t know I am even pregnant. My dear lovely pipo I don’t know what to do next

See no insults okay. You don’t what’s going on? Will be reading comments ????

https://youtu.be/sefOI6BKQ1M

Written by Abena Magis

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

GIPHY App Key not set. Please check settings

Letter to My Sweet Bun

I Miss Dad’s Finger