I got married on 9 November 2013 aunt Abena. I was 23 years at that time. I met this lady, we dated for six moths and we decided to get married. She already had a child who was 3 years at the time whose father according to her left when the child was 5 months old. Before getting married she was 5 months pregnant for me.
Two weeks after our marriage, while she was pregnant for me for 5 months she went to have sex with her ex boyfriend. I found out and asked her but she denied everything and packed her things out that she won’t marry me again. We were living in the same house with the pastor who blessed our marriage. He heard us talking and came to ask what had happened but I never told him what my wife did. We settled the issue and moved on. Hmm
During the naming ceremony, the guy came around but told my wife not to tell me he is around but she told me some days later. Some years into the marriage, my wife never changed from moving from one ex boyfriend to the other. She was having sex with them but will deny me, her husband, sex. I had to beg my own wife for sex but she will deny me or insult me saaaa before she will allow me to have sex with her. She always told me I can go out and have sex because she has given me the chance to do that.
Sometimes, I had no option than to masturbate when she denied me of sex. Every weekend she would leave the kids at home and go out and have fun. Even when I was not home, she would lock the kids and go out and come home very late. If I talk it will turn into a fight. I took her to a catering school for two years but after graduation, she told me she never sent me to take her to a catering school. I felt so disappointed.
There was no happiness in the marriage, always pains and sorrow. Could you believe she told my friends and our church marriage counselor that she never loved me? That she got married to me because she was pregnant, a friend told her to come spend my money only to find out I’m not a womanizer, I don’t smoke or drink. So that’s why she stayed with me but she never loved me. In 2019, she met a man whom I know but I never knew my wife was dating him. She came to tell me she had gotten a man and we should spend his money but I refused even though at that time things were very had for me.
Before getting married, I had two taxis, a shop in which we distribute pure water and I bought a land two days after our wedding. Life was okay for me before getting married. After my son was born, I wanted to travel to UK so I sold one of my taxis. My uncle who was in the UK wanted to help me come to the UK rather duped and chopped my money. I lost everything I had in just in a few years.
Since I didn’t agree with my wife to chop the man’s money she secretly dated the man which I never knew hmmm. When I later found out they were still together, I took his number from my wife and called to warn him to stay away from my wife. I spoke to elderly people who knew him to also talk to him but he never listened. I sent him a lot of messages to stay away from my wife or else I will kill him.
He sent me a message and asked me, “are you married? Ask your wife, if you are still married.” Not knowing my wife had told him we had divorced which wasn’t true. I kept sending him threatening messages to stay away from her, if not I will kill him. He went to report me to the police and they called me but I never went. My wife then decided to plan with him to get me arrested for me to stop sending him the messages so they can be together.
The man had then told her to divorce me so he can marry her. She went to the police to report me that I said I will kill her. She brought police to arrest me, I run away to hide. Both our families met on the following Sunday and she told my senior bro that the police said I should come and report myself if not, they will find me and arrest me. I went to the police station to report myself. They never told me what happened, they just locked me up.
The next day, they brought me out to come write my statement and I asked them why I was locked up. That’s when they finally told me my wife reported me that I said I will kill her. I was like wow. This is what my wife had come to report me about? I was very disappointed in her because I never told her I will kill her. When I told them what she had been doing, the police women there were all angry at my wife. They all told me to divorce her bench she is not a marriage material.
So when both our families met, I agreed to it and finally divorced though I was still taking care of my step daughter. My ex wife once called and insulted me, asking what have I done for her daughter. I said, “wow you are ungrateful. I have been taking care of this girl for the past 7 years. You have never paid her fees before and you don’t even know what the girls eat. I’m a young guy me and I married you even though you already had a child. I have been taking care of her till now and you just called me to insult me?”
I told my mom and my mom said to end this fight, I should give the girl back to the mom. When I was taking my step daughter back to my ex wife, I was so hurt and heartbroken. I know my little girl really loves me and she even told me, “Daddy, I really love you more than my mom.” Sometimes when the mother and I had a fight she’ll come to me and tell me, “daddy don’t mind mommy okay. I know all she has been doing to you, but don’t mind her.”
Just because of this marriage I have lost everything I had. Now I’m staying with a friend because I don’t even have money to rent again. Paying my son’s fees is a problem and I still can’t get over what happened. It’s really killing my soul each time I remember how a whole me that I had money and life was okay for me, now I don’t have anything. I sometimes have to beg friends for food…and money to pay my 7 years old son’s fees.
Life hasn’t been easy for me. I decided to go sell my kidney which we are in the process. Please I need your advice and help if I should go ahead and sell one of my kidney or I should stop. I’m really going through so much that I sometimes want to end my life.