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Should I Give My Baby Away or Keep It?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good morning. I’m sorry to disturb you and your fans but please I am a top fan who never knew I will be coming into your inbox one day. I am 27 years in the university and in level 400.

I met a guy and we’ve dated for close to 3 years. From the beginning he was very nice and down to earth which was the reason why I decided to go out with him. In fact I didn’t love him but admired how he showed me so much love and care. What I know is that the people we love don’t always love us back so I decided to stay with him. My only reason for not loving him was because I am taller than and I felt like it’s not a good reason to reject someone like him because of height

Fast forward to some time later, he started acting strangely. He told me that he was getting old, didn’t have any child who will inherit him when he dies and all that. I was like there is a time for everything. We weren’t married so he couldn’t expect me to get pregnant for him then and disappoint my mum and my family. Besides he was the one who will tell me he wants to see my family only to postpone it every time due to the nature of work he does.

I tried my best to do everything normally even though sometimes I went against myself to please him. My advice to people is to love themselves first before anything else.

Auntie Abena this guy in question is not poor but he can mismanage things and money as if he doesn’t work for it. The nature of his work is in a contract form and can end anytime. When one contract ends, it can take him between 6 months to a year before he secures a new one. For instance, he worked at Newmont for 2 years and was paid over GHS10,0000. That was aside his allowances. Anybody who knows this company knows about what I’m talking about.

But by the time the contract ended, he’d mismanaged all the money that he didn’t have anything. He became very depressed till he got another one. Even though the pay was not up to the one from Newmont, he didn’t learn his lesson and still couldn’t save anything. That contract also end too. He is building his own house and has another plot of land though but he can do better with what he gets as salary.

Hmmm all this while, whenever I asked for money for me to invest in a business he will tell me to stop schooling to come be with him before he can open that business for me. How could I do that? When he met me, I was then in level 100 and I can’t tell you how my mother and I suffered to get myself to school. I told him my story but this guy said no. It’s a whole lot but time won’t permit me to say everything.

Now to my main reason for contacting you. Auntie Abena to my surprise I found out I’m pregnant. When I told him, he turned his back against me and has completely abandoned me. He has even blocked me on every platform of communication saying my mother didn’t give me good training because I told long ago that in our family we marry before we have children. He says I want to be the black sheep to change that. He said all these to quarrel me and said things I can’t say here about my mum and my family. Auntie Abena it was as if I was dealing with a strange person altogether

Now I dont know what to do because my mum who used to support me has fallen ill and I am the one having to work to take care of us. Due to COVID issues life hasn’t been easy at all and I don’t know what to do.

I sometimes feel that I should find a couple who are in need of a child to help me out so I will bless them with my child. At least its better and more humane than abortion. I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do or to keep the baby and raise it on my own. Currently, I’m confused on what to do because I have not paid my fees for my final year coupled with accommodation and now this.

Auntie Abena, the sad is that my looks won’t let people believe or help me even though I am suffering. In my suffering, someone will see me and say “you look fine ooooh” meanwhile I sometimes go to sleep without food. The work I do is very hard and minor ones like carrying concrete from building site, I don’t know if I can still do it with the pregnancy. Please advice me on what to do. I have ignored him because I don’t have the strength to fight him anymore but still need your thoughts on what to do.

Note this: his mother and father are no more. He is no longer close with his siblings because they betrayed him when he had a contract to work in South Africa. They sent his pay to Ghana so he asked them do a project and some other things for him. He told me that he got back to meet a shock of his life where they only spent his money without doing any of what he told them to do.

So I can’t go to these siblings to talk to him for me. I’m wondering if I should take him to social welfare but the sad thing is, social welfare can’t force him to pay. If he refuses to pay after the first month, they won’t do anything if he still refuses to pay. This makes me think it will be better to suffer alone but I’m really scared for my future.

Sorry for the long post. I will be reading comments. Thank you very much

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Written by Abena Magis

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