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Should I Forget About My Fiance?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Have dated this guy for 10 years. We have a six year old son. I met this guy when I completed SHS. When I met him, he wasn’t working so I was the one working and supporting him. My mum has a big provision store so i always sent him provisions every month.

When I gave birth, things started going on well with him. He got a job, became rich and asked me to come stay with him because he wanted to help me further my education. Kindly note that I was already in Cape Coast poly when I got pregnant but had defer my course till I gave birth because of pregnancy sicknesses.


After I delivered, he asked me to come stay with him in Tema so I can continue with my schooling. A lot happened which made me decide to have him open a shop for me so I could support him with little little things. He agreed but he hasn’t opened the shop for me till now. Now that he’s got money, he’s started going out with different ladies.

As I am speaking with you now, he has rented a different apartment for another lady. He can leave me and the child home for two weeks, claiming he is travelling to Kumasi but would rather be in town with the lady he has rented a room for. He rented the apartment for the lady while we were staying in a single room in his family’s house. A lot happened that he moved all his things from where we were staying to the apartment he had rented for her.

When moving his things, he told me he had a contract in Kumasi so he will spend some weeks. That was how he packed half of his things to the apartment. Aside this lady, he has different ladies he mingles with. He has one he has sex chats with, the lady goes naked and sends him videos of herself. I found all these on his phone when he was watching videos and he slept. He started getting angry over petty issues, stopped eating my food, stopped communicating with me and made his phone his only friend when he gets home, no sex. He’s not had me sex with me for 3years and till now I haven’t had sex with any man.

I left to my mum’s place and he must have thought I will say everything to my mum so he sent his sisters to come for my list without him coming along. I came back to him because I thought he had changed since he had sent his family to come for my list. Alot happened afterwards. He even told a friend of his that he doesn’t love me so the friend asked him, why then did he send his family for my list. He said he knew nothing about it and never sent anyone to go for my list.

Hmmmmm, we fought over this and what came from his mouth was, I won’t give birth again so if I want to give birth again, I should do that with another man. I left after the lockdown without my things. When we called his sisters (those who came for my list) they said their brother said he had lost his job so they shouldn’t disturb him with marriage. As I am talking to you now, the lady he rented apartment has been going to his house.
I met her at the house when I went there yesterday to pick something
Auntie Abena, I need advise because I might do something bad.

Want to share your story anonymously, kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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One Comment

  1. Advice???? If you want to know a man’s intentions towards you pay attention to his friends… You said it yourself that he’s told his friends he doesn’t love you anymore
    2. He said it to your face he doesn’t want to have kids with you anymore
    3. No sex for the past 3yrs now
    4. Multiple affairs
    5. No intentions of marrying you anymore
    6. Even brings his new girl into your home
    So tell me what advice do you think you need here???? Everything is printed so clear
    He no longer finds you attractive and does not love you anymore
    Don’t waste your time my dear, he’s not your husband yet… He’s still a boyfriend, you can LEAVE
    start a life with your child n forget him.. You’ll succeed. I don’t know how old you are but if you choose to stay around.. You’ll end up wasting your own time and blocking a lot of changes.
    A word to the wise. ?

My Girlfriend is Unbelievable

Survivor – Saved By The Skin of Her Teeth