DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Hello. Good morning Aunty Abena. Please I would like to be anonymous.I am a third year medical student at KNUST. I met this guy in 2020 when I found out that the guy I was dating was going out with my very good friend and cousin. I only saw that in movies and never thought they could happen in reality but it did happen to me.
This new guy I met in 2020 after my heartbreak was very good to me. He made me laugh even when I did not want to. He made me feel love so I thought. I could not trust my own self after what I went through in the hands of my ex guy. It affected my current relationship. Aunty Abena this new guy was also broken hearted before meeting me. He started acting funny at a point that made me think he was still interested in his ex. I was scared of what happened to me in my past, happening again. I confronted the ex in an anonymous manner to find out if they were still dating and if the man just wanted to use me too. That was bad to do.
Later I apologised to my man and everything was beautiful once again. He was then making his female best friend feel special more than me, his girlfriend. He was sleeping in the same room with the bestie when I met him. Anytime I visit, he sends water to the bathroom for his best friend who is a girl while I carried my own water Aunty Abena. I was jealous and made complaints. At a point, I even thought they were having sexual intercourse, because of how special he treats her.
I confronted him which did not go down with him well. At a point this guy started behaving like someone who is not interested in you and you are rather pushing yourself on him. I was so devastated and asked for a break up. My friends and people I trusted gave me some advice which made me accept him back. I remember one time I saw on his phone requesting nudes from his female friend who bears the same name as me. I got angry and even asked for a break up again. Friends had to apologise on his behalf for us to be back again.
Just recently, something unpleasant happened again. Because I have end of semester exams to write I learn till I’m tired. I slept immediately I got to my hostel after class only to wake up at 11:58pm to see his missed calls. I took my phone and started calling him. Aunty Abena, he was on another call around that time. I called him continuously till 12:19 am which he did not answer any of them. I was really hurt because if he was talking to me, he would have put the call on hold to talk to whomever that called. But this never happened on his side and it was an odd hour to me. I packed my items and went to the study room.
I then decided to call him again which he picked up and all he could say was hey Adwoa, sorry my screen is touchy and was talking to a short code without my knowledge. I never believed him so told him point blank that he is telling lies. I decided to call the short code and leave the phone there without touching to see how long it could go. The call hanged up after 5 minutes approximately. I called him and told him that. He started raising his voice at me. I asked him not to call me again and if he is taking me for a fool my God will punish him.
He called the following day acting like nothing happened. I did not entertain him at all. For 19 mins your phone was talking to a short code without your knowledge eiiii. That was weird. I was hurt he gave me such an excuse and all I could think about was he sees me as a fool to be saying this. I expected him to say sorry but he never did, instead he was telling me he also spoke to his dad. I found it funny because I knew if that was the situation, at a point in time it should have been number busy and not on another call for that 19 mins I kept calling continuously.
Aunty Abena, I decided to involve his friend who introduced me and he was only talking about solved past issues we have both apologised to each other about without talking about the present problem.
He then told his friend he was talking to a girl but the girl was not his girl just a friend. I was hurt and very angry. How could you talk to someone who is just a friend at that odd time and not answer your girl’s call? I them told him never to call or message me. He never called nor texted me. After 6 days of me telling him not to call, I felt he did not need me so I sent him a long message on fb saying I have broken up and that we could be good friends. He read and replied, “Seen and read, thank you”
Aunty Abena, I don’t know if this is the right thing to do because I’m actually going through a lot now. My exams is on friday. As I write this piece to you, I’m troubled. Should I keep this my decision? please what should I do?
It’s affecting my studies and my exams is approaching. I need help please.
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