DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Though we’re no more, I want to share how my ex wanted to take a loan from me to pay her baby daddy’s fees.
Her daughter was just 3 months old when we became friends after meeting in a group. She used to send me motivational messages every morning. I was then going through tough times due to unemployment after service. Luckily, I got the job but had to pay half of my salary for 3 months. My salary delayed for a year so you can imagine.
She always encouraged me and helped me once with phone credits to call my mum for some money. When my salary dropped, I gave her GHS200 without her asking me for it. I proposed to her which she gladly accepted.
After that, the least thing she needs money for her hair or “my son is asking for shoes or new clothes.” Using the baby to collect money from me. Then she told me about some MLM someone had been convincing her to do. She didn’t have the money but begged me to help her. I really wanted to help but at the same time, I was solving my mother’s housing issue. I went for a loan and gave her GHS1000 out of it.
She never paid the money. Always told me those she brought into the MLM weren’t serious. I had to pay the loan including hers. She always told me how the baby daddy left her after she refused to abort. And that, when her parents went to his parents to confront him, he told everyone he knew every guy was chopping “the thing,” that’s why he also went in for her because she was cheap. He refused to accept the baby and disgraced her so I wouldn’t expect her to be entertaining such a person.
She told me 3 years after our being together that the baby daddy wanted to change their baby’s name (her parents named the child since the father refused the pregnancy). I was shocked because I never knew they had even started talking to the extent of him wanting to change the boy’s surname to his.
She apologized for keeping me in the dark. I just kept quiet watching her. We went to her family to do the Knocking and were given the list. In the process of buying some items, she told me she needed some money to start a business because she wanted to get something doing to help me. It was something I’d spoken to her years past but she’d been more interested in the private teaching.
I asked her how much and she said GHS4800. I told her I don’t have that kind of money but she told me to take a loan for her. With my Afford, I could have even taken triple that amount but I was concerned. We were going to get married, she wasn’t even concerned about helping me with a few purchases but wanted me to take a loan for her? What of the first one she never paid back?
I told her to wait for us to marry. Then, we can think about it and this girl started showing me attitude. I’ll complain to her parents to talk to her and she’ll insult me that she’s not a child so I should stop goingto her parents to complain.
2 weeks to the wedding, I was going to give her some of the items I’d bought when I overheard her on phone telling the baby daddy she couldn’t raise the money for him. He asked her if I’d told her anything and she said apart from when I told her we’ll see after the wedding, I haven’t said anything again.
I just stood by the window, listened to everything and after that left. When I confronted her, she told me though she hasn’t gone back to her baby daddy, he can’t be her enemy. She wanted to help him so that one day when he gets a good job, he can take care of the son. I decided not to waste my time in talking. Told her the marriage is off.
She still didn’t understand why I broke up with her over that. The fact that nothing told her what she was doing was wrong was enough for me. I heard they got back together but broke up again.
I used to see her calls but never picked or called back.