DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Because of cooking and washing, a relationship I got into just in a month has come to an end. He stays with his family (mother, father and a brother). He doesn’t have a separate kitchen he can cook in so the only kitchen is used by his mother.
I’ve been to the house three times and I’m always in the room so I haven’t seen his mother though I met his father on my first visit. My guy introduced me as a friend. I didn’t mind being called that because we are still getting to know each other.
During my second visit, he asked me to go to the kitchen to cook but I declined. He got mad but brushed it off and went to prepare the beans with plantain that we ate. So when I got home that night, he asked my why I didn’t want to cook.
I explained to him that, his mother uses the kitchen and I’m just a visitor in the house, she hasn’t met me before and doesn’t even know who I am so what if she comes to the kitchen and questions me? What am I supposed to say? Besides it’s her kitchen and I don’t know how she would react. I thought I was making some sense but he saw my explanation as senseless.
On my third visit, he said when I come, I have wash his clothes and clean his bathroom. I was like ???? He doesn’t go to work on Saturdays, I go to work from Mondays to Saturdays. I only have Sundays to rest so even myself, I don’t wash on Sundays so why won’t you wash on Saturday but rather expect me to come and wash and clean for you on Sunday whiles I just want to rest?
We argued over it and he said he will allow someone wash for him then when I come I clean the washroom. I said okay. I went there on Saturday evening, Sunday morning I told him I was going to clean the washroom but he said the person had already done it, I just said okay.
Them in the afternoon he asked me to go and cook again and I declined. He got angry and gave me a silent treatment throughout the day till I left in the evening. I knew I was not going to continue with him because we are less than a month in the relationship and he already wants to stress me with cooking and washing. Please did I do something wrong for declining to cook and wash for him?