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My Wife is Too Suspicious of My Actions and I’m Tired

I’m a 34 year old man married with 2 kids. Before our marriage, we dated for 4 years within which I shamefully cheated leading to our break up on two occasions. I realized my mistakes, genuinely apologized, asked for forgiveness and she did forgive me. We came back together and two years later we got married.

After our marriage, she got pregnant while I had to leave to one of the regions with my Boss for work and visits on some weekends. Since then, it has always been one suspicion and accusation after the other. She goes through my phone when I’m around, picks contact details of people on my phone and calls them all in the name of investigating whether or not I’m having something to do with them.

On one of the occasions, she ended up calling my boss’s assistance with my phone and realizing it was a male voice, she ended the call. I had to tell him it was a mistake when he inquired whether my boss wanted an info which was why I called him the previous night.

Subsequently, we returned back to Accra. When I sleep and put my phone down, my wife will pick it and be going through my chats with people. I have told her on several instances that she should desist from such acts because I’m not having any extra marital affair but to no avail. I was recently sent to the Northern part of the country for some duties around September last year of which she is very much aware of. Since I came here, it has been accusations upon accusations, especially when I am not able to answer her call and have to return it later.

On two separate instances, I was on phone with my superiors and her call came so it was on call waiting. I couldn’t pick her can but had to call her after that. All hell broke loose, we argued and fought on the phone over it. I have explained to her that I can’t tell my bosses to hold on for me to talk to her before getting back to them. The matter spoil kroaa.

To the extent that last year November and February 7th this year she claimed to have received calls from two ladies in respect to the months indicated above who said they were calling from the north. Instead of interrogating them to know whether they are calling a wrong number or to know who really they are she didn’t. As far as I’m in the North and people claimed to be calling from here, I’m a suspect.

She called one day and said, “tell those stupid ladies you put your phone down and they pick my number or have given my contact to not to call me again. If not I will curse all of you.” She can call demanding, “who is Rabi? I told you that you and those foolish girls should be careful with me oo”. When I tell her to me those numbers for me to call too, no.

We fought several times on the phone when I became angry with her behavior and she has some times indicated to me that she doesn’t love me anymore and that I should find someone to care for the kids. I sometimes feel we should go our separate ways but I also don’t want my kids to be raised from broken home . Truth be told, since we got married in 2016 I have never seen any other woman’s nakedness or any woman has seen mine apart from her. Her incessant false accusation has really gotten to me and is impacting our marriage negatively. I need your advice. Thanks.

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Written by Abena Magis

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