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My Wife Doesn’t Want Me to See My Kids

Illustration: Manofan

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I swear that if no one holds me, the day I meet my wife I won’t be able to control myself. What I’ll do to this women eh. She’ll regret. How can you prevent me from seeing my kids for 2 whole years yet I send you GHS4000 a month for their upkeep?

We were married for 10 years. She wasn’t my girlfriend, she’s someone I married officially and brought her to live with me as my wife. I’m a businessman and move in and out of the countryj to provide a good life for her and the kids. Before I met her, I already had a child with my ex which I didn’t hide from her. I was taking care of my child and didn’t neglect my duties even after my wife and I started having kids.

When my child’s mother was about to get married, she came personally to the house to invite us. One would think any woman would be happy to hear that her husband’s baby mama is getting married but my wife got angry about my ex came to our house. She didn’t understand why my ex had to come over and kept this in her for years. We had our issues which we solved but she kept all these in her until I traveled, came back and found she’d packed out of the house with our kids.

I did everything from bringing in our families, talking to her friends to talk to her and she still remained adamant that she won’t come back because she doesn’t trust me anymore. Me? Auntie Abena, for 2 years I haven’t seen my kids because she’s refusing to show me or anyone where they’re living now. I can only call and talk to them! Am I not human? Tell me don’t I have feelings that I wouldn’t want my kids, the kids I’ve loved since day one to be with me?

I told her last week that I want to see the kids on Good Friday, 2nd April, which she agreed. On Friday, I called her 30 times but she only picked about 3 times to tell me she’s sick. Because she’s sick, she couldn’t tell my kids to get ready for me to pick them up to the mall and refused to pick my calls again.

She enrolled them in a school charging almost GHS8000 a term for both of them. I complained that it’s too expensive because there are equally good schools which charge that much but it fell on deaf ears. I didn’t want to create more issues otherwise knowing her, I might not even talk to my kids anymore. So what I do is that I divide the term into 4 and send her GHS2400 a month so that it’ll be complete by the following term. I then add their feeding of GHS1200 but she’s asking for me to top up and add GHS300. I also pay rent. I pay GHS9600 every two years. Even with this, this woman told me it’s not enough.

Auntie Abena, is this how a mother should behave? Tell me. What I’ve decided is that I’m not going to pay their next term fees. She’s sending me divorce papers so I’ll stop providing for them. When the rent is due, I won’t renew it. I’m doing all these until she finally let’s me see my children but the way she is, she could even prevent me from seeing them at all. I’m confused auntie. I want to know what the fans say. I’m tried. Mabrɛ.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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