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My Sister Wants to Marry My Husband

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’m writing this to you otherwise I’ll go mad. I’m pouring it out to have some peace, I also spoke to my counselor who said anything that can me is acceptable. So my younger sister wants my husband to marry her and is ready to do anything to get him.

I got a job outside the country which was welcome news because I’d been unemployed for almost 3 years. My husband Kyeremeh was the breadwinner and though he wasn’t complaining I knew the extra money will help. Fast forward, I made my sister who was then 14 years to come and stay with him to take care of the house before leaving.

On his birthday, she sent him a card and signed it with “from your little wife Ama.” He got disturbed by her wording and sent it to me but I felt it’s nothing. She was referred to as his junior wife because I’m older than her so I didn’t see anything wrong. (My first mistake). 4 months later, our big sister called me that she’d gone there to check up on them, the dress Ama was wearing was too skimpy. The girl said she’d worn all her clothes and was going to wash them.

The second time this happened, I called the girl myself and told her to advice herself. She shouldn’t wear such clothes again. I got a 2 weeks break and came back to Ghana. All was well but 2 months after returning, I realized I was pregnant. Everyone was happy but Ama said something like, “is that why everyone is happy?” I just didn’t mind her.

Fast forward when she was 16, this girl got pregnant. Eiiii. Who impregnated you? She said my husband’s cousin Eli. Days later, Kyeremeh and Eli went to see my parents. Kyeremeh apologised on Eli’s behalf and his friend told them he’s willing to take responsibilities of my sister. That he was ready to buy a car and get a driver to take her to and from school because my parents no longer wanted her to be in boarding school. That he’d also rent and furnish a provision shop and provide monthly upkeep for her. My parents accepted it and when they told me, I was relieved because a part of me was scared that maybe the baby was for my husband.

Fast forward, she gave birth and Eli came to name the baby but he said he wanted to name him after his grandfather. I reached Ghana, 2 weeks later. That’s when I realized my husband was hardly staying home. Anytime I complained, he’ll remind me that he lived alone for 2 years. He only had time for our son. I got a job and cancelled my contract abroad just to save my marriage but it was still the same. I just devoted my time to my job and son.

Fast forward to the following year, my sister called me to hurry up and go to Ama’s shop. When I went there nothing was happening and she told me to wait. Her phone was off, she charged it and sent me a video of a heated argument between Kyeremeh and Eli. Kyeremeh was warning Eli away from Ama and warned him to stay off her. It was the store keeper that had been giving my sister info about my husband’s affair with Ama.

It was as if my whole world shattered. We later found out that it was all a cover. It was actually my husband who impregnated Ama and told his cousin, Eli who happens to be married to cover for him. That whole grandfather’s name for the naming was to cover things because Kyeremeh wouldn’t allow his cousin to name his child. Now Eli too was eating the thing which annoyed Kyeremeh. The car, store everything was from my husband.

I was shaken and wanted to still make my marriage work but Ama has been fighting with me since. She put doubts about my baby in my husband’s head. I didn’t know because all of a sudden this guy started asking me if the child is truly his because he only looks like me. Ei. I told him then let’s do DNA, he refused until I brought his mother in and we did which showed he’s the father. My parents have done everything to stop Ama from following my husband and an SHS graduate, she’s left the house living in a house my husband rented for her. I know the area but don’t know where she stays.

She keeps calling me everyday to leave her lover for her because I didn’t take good care of him. I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused. I’ve talked to people including his parents who will promise to help me but I’m just losing my husband. As for my parents, my husband and sister don’t even pick their calls anymore. Eli came to apologise but he’s not doing anything to help me. It’s clear my husband doesn’t love me anymore. I don’t know what to do, if I walk away it means I allowed my little sister to win.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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