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My Partner Spends on Me but not on My Son

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’m the single mother with the 6 year old son this gentleman sent a story about.

He and I clearly had a conversation before deciding to be together. I told him I wasn’t ready to date him because I’d rather be alone than have someone I can’t fall back on when I hit rock bottom. This gentleman looked me in the eyes and told me he knew I was a single mother whose baby daddy is a “pathetic father“ but wants to make a difference in my life knowing all these.

He said he was willing to step up because he has brothers from another father and knew what I was going through. I know I made a mistake by giving my son a pathetic biological father and I owe it to him to correct that mistake by making sure I give him a better one to live with.

This gentleman is the one who likes to pay for fancy hair and clothes, take you to dinner and sip on outrageous drinks when my son’s school fees per term is less than what he can spend on me on a typical weekend. I love being the pretty girl he is proud to show off in that little fancy dress, hair and make up but I also want to be a good mother. I love kindness.

READ ALSO: My Husband Hates My Family

I never intended to sound like I was forcing him. I only wanted to remind him of who he promised to be but never lifted a finger in 8 months. I’ve got a job and I don’t depend on him. I’ve been taking care of my child all alone for a while now and I’m proud of him. He is proud of him when we step out with him too. And that pride doesn’t come cheap.

Honey, I did love you in my own little way. And I was willing to make things work despite your personal flaws too. I believe everyone has what they want to be good at. Mine is to be a good mummy and a good wife. I want a happy family not a happy marriage. It’s unfortunate it has to start with your kindness towards my son.

Keep in mind, anything can happen to you too and I’ll be left with 2 children to cater for. I wouldn’t let anyone leave the child I had with you out like you want to do with mine. I believe if I wasn’t what you imagined I was, we wouldn’t be here. And please! I never disrespected you in the presence of my son and I don’t intend to ever!

As for the marriage part, I’m not backing down on it. If I’m not good enough to be your partner, I’m clearly not good enough to carry your child. I honestly can’t believe you made it look like I was forcing you to marry me.

Auntie Abena, truth be told, I’m a beautiful and industrious woman. And if I was looking for a means to an end, it wouldn’t be this guy. There’s more than enough money where I’m running from.

If and only if our laws worked, my boy would be well catered for “forcefully but lawfully” by his biological father .“ It’s peace of mind, belongingness for both myself and my son and some genuine love I’m looking for. Please put the full story out there so people can stop judging me with his side of things. Good morning!

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Written by Abena Magis

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2 Comments

  1. Sometimes its gud to listen to the other side of the story too,my dear I understand u perfectly.For the marriage part,we’re Ghanaians n we all knw how it works here u can neva get a second child wid stories around it too.If he wont agree go to mariestoppes n get ur lyf back.i love u

  2. I think the lady is been. Very thoughtful and responsible. The young man presented her case nicely but obviously he is the problem. I can feel he is been bossy with childish attitude of not taking responsibility of the child. I am very familiar with that feeling.

    My dear, it’s suicidal to be born two with two different fathers. Society will not pardon you. If he can’t love you and hate your innocent son. Pls move on and take care of your son.

    Direct him to Kwame Nkrumah circle, under the over pass, he can get a lady without a child.

    Shallom

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