Growing up I have been hearing this thing about parents pressuring their children to get married. I’ve just been hearing and never thought of it. Now I am in this shit and I would like your audience to direct me on how I should handle it.
Somewhere last year I had not officially introduced my girlfriend to my father but he heard about it through my mom. He asked me and I confirmed it. Since then he has been on me to get married.
His reason is that he was 27 years old when he gave birth to my brother, his first child. My brother also gave birth at 27 so he says I must also give birth early so that I won’t grow old before giving birth and I will also be able to look after my children when I am young.
Secondly, he is a committed christian and we all go the the same church. According to him it will not be appropriate for God and the church members to see me with a girl I’ve not married. He (we) scheduled the marriage for this year December.
Meanwhile within me, I know I am not ready for marriage.
I started working just last year.
Even though my family does not place on me too much financial issues, I want to put certain things in place before I get into marriage. He says he will help me with it but I know deep down that I will take care of most of the things.
My girlfriend is not gainfully employed like me but through our efforts, we’ve been able to set up a business which shestarted last year December (2021)
For us we want this business to be well established before anything marriage so that the marriage rites will be smooth financially.
Now my father want us to go and see my girlfriend’s parents for the necessary rites for the marriage but deep down me I am not ready. My elder brother did the same thing when he landed a job and I learned from his struggles.
I will be 29 years old later this year. For me I want to acquire some, if not most of the basic needs before I take the next adventure. As at now, I am putting myself together not for marriage but to get myself the basic needs. Recently my father was like I and my girlfriend are too close and he is not comfortable since she spends the night at my place sometimes. It’s the reason he is speeding up with the marriage rites.
Aunty Abena I am just not comfortable with how my father is taking all these issues. Anything he says now about the whole thing is annoying to me. I think and believe I have to be ready and inform my parents about marriage without them forcing me into it.
Now my worry is
(1) in case she gets pregnant, will my parents ever like her??
(2) How do I gently tell my father I am not ready for all these without making it look like I disrespect him?