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My Ex Wants to Be Friends

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Please I want to ask o, what will make an ex send you pictures of his family, he and his wife’s, wedding pictures, pregnancy scan etc to a girl he is no longer with. To be precise, I met this guy in 2016. He was so good to me. He was always there when I needed him.

Mind you, I was staying with my uncle who was mistreating me at that time, so I had lost all hope of humanity until I met this guy. Auntie, this guy understood my situation and helped me in anyway he could including showing me the way to freedom. He was in the US army so he introduced me to a recruiter and helped me join the army. Basically, this guy showed me the way to freedom. Things got out of hand when my uncle found out about and warned him to stay away from me. Due to this the guy had to move to a different state.

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Long story short, I moved out of my uncle’s place and stayed with one of my sisters. We still kept in touch and he would come visit and even not my sister and husband. Due to the relationship I had with him, many thought that we were going to marry. Auntie, my mom and uncles knew him but they hated him except for my mom. We broke up and to be frank, it was so hard on me but I didn’t want to beg him into accepting me back so I let go.

However, this guy never stopped being in touch. When I went to training, he would send me letters and gifts etc. He always sends me gift on my birthdays and never forgets to wish me. This got me so confused about his feelings for me and I was ready to be together with him again until he sent me a photo of him and another woman. According to him, he had met someone within the State he was in and thinking of marrying her so wanted to talked to me about it. Auntie, I was hurt but I kept my cool and even told him to marry her if he was that much into her. I decided to move on since he’d found someone else.

He kept me updated on his relationship which to tell you truth I wished he wouldn’t. I stopped talking to him, hoping that he would stop contacting me now that he had found someone. Auntie but he never stopped, this guy kept sending me gifts and calling me. He recently told me he was married now and even sent me pictures of his wedding which I congratulated and made him know how happy I was for him.

How do I tell him to stop sending me gifts and calling me without being rude? He texted me about how he wants to see me and ready to help me with whatever I need like before. I know I can depend on him but I don’t want to. I want to move on but he is making it impossible for me. Now he is sending me pictures of his wife’s pregnancy scan and how happy he is. My question is, should I block him completely or just be his friend. Is it even possible to be friends with someone you know you are emotionally connected to but can’t be together? He is married and about to have a family but why can’t he leave me alone? Why does he keep sending me pictures of everything I dreamed of having with him. What do I do? Please keep me anonymous. Thank you.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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