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My Ex Wants a Baby With Me

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good morning. I’m in a dilemma and I want you and the Manofans to help me out on what to do. Please I don’t want my wife to see the post on my phone to know about this so I’m using my friend’s phone and account to post it.

Auntie, the issue is, in 2013 I met this Public Health nurse and we started dating. She was 26 years old by then. I made it known to her from the beginning of the relationship that I’m not a fan of wedding nor a traditional marriage whereby people would come. I rather preferred a simple ceremony of just a few of our family members who would be around for the bride price to be paid, since payment of the bride price is the marriage, all other things are auxiliary.

I dialogued with her that we would draw the budget as if it’s a wedding we would do but invest the money in a business so that by five to ten years time we would have our own business. She agreed and we dated for 2 years. As I was preparing to marry her, I bought some things I knew would be on the bride list down.

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All of a sudden I realized her attitude had changed. If I don’t call her she wouldn’t call and even if I call and she answered, the call too she would just be giving cheecky answers (like ‘fine’ ‘ok’ ‘Ihr’ ‘Ikr’) if we’re talking. She was giving me attitude to call off the relationship myself so that it won’t be like she was the one who called it off.

One day I was there then she called that she’s not okay with marrying without doing a white wedding or traditional wedding. She said that’s her big day so people must feel her day. According to her, her mom likes white wedding and cannot afford to see her daughter marry without it. All her sisters did white wedding so she can’t afford to be the odd one out. She also added that what would her friends and colleagues at work place say, since all her colleagues at the work place did wedding.

She gave me the option to choose from either I agree to do the white wedding or traditional wedding with people around whiles she danced to her favorite music or I forget about the marriage. I was astonished and broken, why that sudden change of mind? When I bemoaned this, she told me it’s only fools who don’t change their minds. We ended the relationship. I couldn’t eat for a whole week. I became skinny but had to move on.

Fast forward, I met this pretty lady who is a medical doctor. I proposed to her and she accepted. I explained to her how I wanted my marriage ceremony to be done and she agreed. We dated for two years and got married. We added some money to the money we would have used for a wedding to start a business. Today, I can proudly say we have 35 employees working for us.
I love my wife and she also loves me. We have two bouncing kids (Enam and Lamptey).

In fact, I would like to say my wife is an epitome of humility and respectfulness. Despite the fact that I was a police officer and she being a medical doctor who earns more than I was earning, she agreed to marry me. She does her responsibilities as a wife, without feeling pompous. I resigned from my work and now managing our business. The business too is booming.

Auntie Abena, for about a month now my ex-girlfriend came to my office (which I wonder who showed her my office). She came and was begging me to accept her back as a second wife or a side chick and that she’s sorry for everything that happened between us. She said she’s 34 and fibroid has started worrying her so if she doesn’t give birth now she may not be able to give birth again.

I sacked her but she keeps calling me everyday. I’ve blocked any number she calls with but she keeps calling with different numbers. The way this thing is going on if I don’t take time it will ruin my marriage, so I want Manofans to advise me on what to do. Thanks and counting on you. Sorry for the long post though.

Want to share your story anonymously kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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