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My Ex is My Man’s Dad

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

You won’t believe what has happened to me. Eiiii. After 2 years of being single I met this guy last year around the lockdown and he’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy. He’s madly in love with me and does whatever I want just to make me happy. I had a problem with his surname because it was like that of my ex but he mentioned his dad’s name and his brother’s name and they were different. We move.

Fast forward to last month, he organized a beautiful birthday party and proposed to me. I said yes but after the party told him I’ll only agree to marry him if he introduces me to his family. It took me 6 months of dating before I got to see his house. He knows everyone in my family but with his family always told me to give him time.

After pushing him he arranged that we’ll go and see them last week but it didn’t come on. He picked me up yesterday and we went. Lo and behold, his father is my former lover from way back when I was in SHS. This man took care of me even though I wasn’t lacking. He was my first lover but little did I know I’ll one day be with his son. I recognized him immediately but he didn’t. My boyfriend saw my mood change but I tried to hide it.

After he dropped me and went home, he called and forced me to tell him the truth. I told him that his dad was once my lover but it was over 11 years ago and the man doesn’t remember me. Auntie Abena, I didn’t know he went home and his mother heard him. I was there around 12am! When he came to my place and told me that his mother wanted to talk to me. I was shaking. The woman said she knew the husband was cheating on her but didn’t know who it was and it nearly resulted in divorce.

I told her the circumstances in which we met and she said she’ll agree to my marrying her son on one condition. I should never let her husband know I’m his ex. Then the left. I thought I was dreaming about the whole thing until this morning when my babe sent me a message to think about what his mother said and try not to bring any problem between his parents again. That he loves me and still wants to marry me.

Auntie Abena, if I say I don’t love this guy then I’m lying to myself but how can this be? I don’t know what will happen if the father finds out I’m his ex but why is his wife so concerned? Is it that the man never forgot me or still loves me and will fight the son over me? I was very young then and I’m old now, I don’t want him but is it okay to marry the son of a man I’m slept with before? I’m very confused about this. Please help me.

Want to share your story anonymously kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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