DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Good evening aunty Abena. Let me start by complimenting the good work you’re doing. May God bless you and your entire family.
I have something that has been bothering me and it has left me very confused as to which step to take. I met this handsome young and loving man in person late last year and after meeting him in person this year on the 3rdJanuary, we fell deeply in love with each other.
Before giving him my heart, I explained to him my situation at that time. ( Note that I’m a single mum of two girls who live with me.) Also, my ex is my country man who we dated for just 3months but we both saw that we are not compatible so we broke up. Our breakup never created enmity between us because he has always stood by me, giving me advice on certain things, and I have been like a family with him for one year and a half.
Sometimes, he comes around if I prepare my country meal and he absolutely loves to be beside my kids. He always tells me that let me feel free in case I get someone I love and want to marry. He will never be against it but he is ready to support me and giude me on how to go about it. He always points out that most importantly, the man should be able to love my kids whole heartedly if he truly loves me and is serious about me. I’m not doing friends with benefits with my ex.
Now to the main issue. When I met my handsome and loving boyfriend, I told him about my ex and that the relationship I have with him is like a family. My kids won’t even go a week without calling him to come around so we chat, make fun, laugh together and if sometimes, eat together. My boyfriend wasn’t okay with the fact that I still see my ex and I understood him perfectly.
According to him, it’s an insult for him to meet with my ex or be anywhere close to him?. My ex once passed by my place to say hello to my girls when my boyfriend was inside. We were both in the room. My boyfriend was so pissed that he walked out. My ex understood the situation and he never came around again.
Just recently, it seems my girls asked of my ex and said he hasn’t come around for long. They called him and he gave them directions to his office. So they decided to pay him a visit there. One their way back, my ex decided to come drop them and unfortunately for me, they came at the time when my boyfriend was in. He was pissed as usual. I’m so worried on this issue .
Sister Abena, another case is that recently, I found out that I’m pregnant. I’m the type that doesn’t like condom because I get reactions from it. I have always used postinor but still I dont like it too because my health is in danger. I got pregnant for my boyfriend but he said he is not ready to be a father yet ?. I understand he has projects that he is working on. He is building. I feel he is really stressed up financially even though he never fails to take care of me.
He takes absolutely good care of me and loves me whole-heartedly. He was planning our wedding after his building projects and now pregnancy has happened. He doesn’t have any kid himself yet. He wants to to abort. I really don’t even want to think about abortion now. He feels like I want to trap him with pregnancy. Meanwhile, that is absolutely not on my mind. If he even moves out of my life now, I will be happy so I can take care of my new baby without him. I love my boyfriend dearly and I have no doubts that he loves me dearly too.
I dont want him feeling like I trapped him with pregnancy because I will never think of that. I prefer abstinence till marriage and if you like chopping, be ready for a baby because I don’t like risking my health. I got a serious infection the last time I use a condom and i never want to see it again
Plz I need advise sister Abena.