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My Baby Mama Beats Me

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I really need an advice from your fans. I’m a 25 years old guy, thick tall but my baby mama keeps beating me up repeatedly.

I met her when we were at the working place. We soon became friends which led into a relationship. 6 months later, she got pregnant for me. I informed my parents and we decided to go and see her family members to do all the necessary things needed. That’s when we found both her parents were no more.

I made her resign from work to stay home and really took very good care of her. I was staying with my parents but soon after she gave birth, my dad gave us one of his apartment within the same compound

Within 3 months, she started changing. She always fought with me but I never retaliated. I always allowed her to beat me. This happened several times. She once hit me in the stomach so hard that I couldn’t even breathe. This scared her so much she ran to inform my parents that I couldn’t breathe.

I never told them what happened but as time went on, they themselves realized what was going on. That she was always fighting, hitting and trying to beat me. They sat her down to advice her to stop but she didn’t.

It’s not that I’m not strong. You won’t believe to see me with my height and size that she always beat me. I’ve sometimes held both of her hands with only one of my hands, just to prevent her from hurting me.

Sometime ago, I ended up at the hospital because she threw sachet water at me and it hit my manhood. It made one of my balls swell seriously. I had to lie to my parents about what happened.

We stayed together for 3 years. I tried several times to break up with her. She’ll always beg me not to leave her, saying she will change but still she doesn’t,

After the lockdown, I lost my job because of the virus. She fought with me so much that I vacated the house for her and traveled to Kumasi. Having peace of mind is important, I called and told her it’s over. Come and see her crying and begging me to forgive her for the sake of our baby.

I’d never dreamed of making her a single parent or raising our child separately so I gave in, forgave her. She came to stay with me in my new place.

Just after a month, she pulled a cutlass on me. I told her to prepare food but she didn’t. Had to prepare it myself to avoid any issues but the following morning she went to grab all of it to eat. When I asked her to share it with me, she became angry and said no. Playfully, I tried snatching the food and unfortunately it poured on the ground.

She became so furious that she slapped me. You slapped me over food? This got me angry as well that I replied her slap. That’s when she pulled a cutlass on me. We were living with my pastor in the same compound. He was also a tenant so he came rushing out when he heard the noise.

I was asked me to come out which I respectfully did and calmed down, leaving her in the room. Whiles I was telling my side of the story, she packed all the things including mine and used the cutlass to spoil my ceiling fan. She also poured a bucket of water on my bed and packed out of the house with the baby.

Quickly, I informed one of her uncles about it. This thing she did hurt me so much that I couldn’t stay there again. Had to come back to Accra, and inform my parents about it. They warned me never to allow her into my life again because there is no way they will even follow me to take her hand in marriage .

After 2 months, she started calling and begging me to forgive her because she had really regretted her actions and even swore she had changed. She begged me for about 3 months and I foolishly fell for her apologies. I accepted her again but didn’t allow her to come stay with me. My hope was to see her really changed.

I saw some improvement for the first few weeks but after a month, she got angry again trying to fight with me. Immediately she did that I broke up with her. She’s been calling, crying and begging me every day again. Telling me if I leave her she will commit suicide. I feel she can do it and I’m scared, but I don’t want to live with her because of her attitude

The truth is I really love her and I know she really loves me too. Our baby is also too young for us to break up but I can’t cope with her attitude. Please I need some advice guys. Please no insult. Just an advice please.

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Written by Abena Magis

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2 Comments

  1. Hmmmm! My dear brother, if you are afraid of her taking her own life and compel yourself to be living with her then you are indirectly sacrificing your own life for hers.????‍♀️????‍♀️ Because the way she behaves and is not changing too is very dangerous. She is capable of killing you. So I can’t tell you to leave or stay with her but think wisely and stop this I love her so much and she also loves me so much your life is more important here. Can’t you see your life at risk?????‍♀️????. You can separate from her and still take very good care of your child by sending her the necessary things. You can also pray with her may be she will change after all there is nothing impossible for the Almighty Allah to do. My mind though ????‍♀️????????????????‍♀️????‍♀️????‍♀️

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