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K Wants Me to Date His Friend

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’m even confused about this whole thing that is happening to me and have been crying for almost a week. It’s all about my fiance, K, and his best friend, Pr, and how their issues are causing me sleepless night.

My fiance and I have been together for 3 years. He came into my life at a time when my parents revealed my true parents to me (I’m adopted) and suddenly my birth parents started going around that I was kidnapped by my adoptive parents when I was a baby. This filled them with so much grief and I had so much anger towards my birth parents and anger at my adoptive parents too so you can imagine how confused my life was.

K became my confidante and though I wasn’t interested in dating then, I accepted him after 6 months of knowing him and we’ve been together since then. Last year just before the lockdown, his best friend, Pr, came down from the States. He and I had spoken just twice before then and it was just “hello” and nothing else.

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When Pr came, he called me twice on messenger that he wanted to meet me and both times I told K who told me it’s wrong for his friend to ask me secretly to see him. I agreed and never went. Pr later asked me for my number which I gave him. Then around July, he sent me GHS2000 as my birthday gift. I owed Qwickloan 665 then and it was deducted.

Paying back the full amount would be impossible so I told K who took the balance, topped up and sent it back to his friend. I blocked Pr after that because I’m not that kind of girl. Then fast forward to September, Pr called me with another line and told me that my fiance is very wicked.

According to him, they both saw me in my hood (which I don’t remember) and he Pr told K to help him find out more about me because he wanted to get to know me and even date me before he traveled. K told him he’d contacted me but I snubbed him and wasn’t interested in talking to him. So Pr sent him money to take me out and find out what my problem was and why I was behaving like that. Over the years, K told him I had a boyfriend but had become his friend so he wanted to take his time to get to know me then should my boyfriend leave me one day, he’d convince me to date Pr.

Pr says he told him that he can’t wait for someone’s girlfriend so he should forget about me. That’s why he kept his distance so anytime he spoke to me, he spoke to me as K’s friend who is dating another guy. Little did he know K was rather my boyfriend.

After he got to know, he confronted K but he couldn’t give him a good reason for his lying which is why he’d wanted to talk to me but I wasn’t giving him the chance.

Auntie Abena, I told him that I’m human and feel betrayed but maybe I don’t feel what he does because K has been the perfect guy for me. I love him and can’t think of leaving him for any other. He asked, “really?” to which I said yes.

All of a sudden, K started acting moody and sometimes won’t pick my calls or read my messages though he’ll be online. This Christmas he traveled and left his phone with his mum. Eno called me that she’s worried he might do something to himself because of how depressed he had become.

I finally spoke to him last week and my K is saying, he lied to both me and his friend and he can’t be with me any longer. It’s either I date his friend or go my way but either way he can’t be with me anymore. I called Pr and told him I understand him but I can’t be with him. He’s also saying then I shouldn’t come between them anymore and dawg K.

Auntie Abena if you see my K, he’s become so thin and has started drinking. Pr is refusing to back down and keeps saying his friend is wicked. K says if I love him, I should date his friend. How? Don’t I matter? Why should I lose the love of my life just because his friend wants me? Is this fair? I need your able advice and that of Manofans. K doesn’t want to see me and his mum calls me to cry everyday.

Please help.

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Written by Abena Magis

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