I’m Married but I’m Crushing On Someone

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I hope you’re doing well? My condolences to you and your family. I would like to find out from other women how they dealt with crushing on someone whiles still married or engaged. I have only been with my current man for some years now and he’s my first. 

We had issues along the line and I was the one fighting for peace in the marriage till recently when he started warming up to me. I however lost interest in the marriage and decided to walk away before I let my guards down and finally give in to my crush. 

The thing is my husband never appreciated me since we got married. That wasn’t a problem until I realized recently how it did something on me psychologically all these years. I am very beautiful but I never believed I was and my confidence died. 

In July, my crush approached me and wanted sex from me which I declined. He later became like a friend and started mentoring me in my career. He’s been selfless and supportive in that area and hasn’t asked me for sex nor a relationship. 

Auntie Abena, I never got over that encounter with him and I really want it to materialize even though I haven’t had the courage to ask. I haven’t met him physically since then but I really want to do this. I look forward to every moment of getting romantic with him even though I can’t bring myself to being married and cheating. I can’t help it and I need help.