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I Think There’s Something Wrong with Me Sexually

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I wish I were pregnant again because that’s the only time I get horny, enjoy sex and cum. That’s the time just seeing my husband’s d**k can make me cum.

My first introduction to sex wasn’t interesting and very painful. Sex after that wasn’t comfortable for me so I never initiated it and was always ok with foreplay and cuddling but never sex.

Fast forward, I met my husband who agreed to no sex before marriage. We got married and like our Counselor said, “I had to fulfill my marital obligations as a wife,” though it wasn’t in me. My husband kept on complaining but I didn’t care.

Then suddenly one day, he came home and I jumped on him. I didn’t even allow him to remove his trousers, I opened it and sat on him. It was my first time doing that and because he didn’t know what had come over me, he lost interest in the sex.

I explained to him that I suddenly wanted to f**k him which he shared with a friend who told him maybe I’m cheating. That whoever I was cheating with taught me that style. He did his checks and realized I wasn’t but now we were having sex sometimes 3 times a day. Then I found I was pregnant.

After I gave birth, I lost interest in sex again. It bothered me but my mother told me it’s normal and that it’ll come back. It didn’t come back. Then almost 2 years later, I started feeling strongly for sex. I checked and I was pregnant which means I’m super horny whenever I get pregnant. We have 3 kids now and I’ve lost interest in it for more than 7 months since giving birth.

Hubby knows about this but says I have to stop waiting to feel horny and cope with it because he’s not ready for a 4th child. I react to latex so no condoms. He’s refusing anything like IUD because he says it’ll make me fat and he hates fat women.

My problem is I become very dry when I’m not horny so he gets cuts and I also get cuts. We started using shea butter and some gel and creams but they don’t really work (waste of money too). I’m thinking of getting pregnant again just to enjoy the sex and abort it. I know it’s wrong, I love sex but hate it when I can’t love it ???? Will my husband understand? What do I do? I miss feeling for sex.

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Written by Abena Magis

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