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I Refuse to Be His Second Wife

File Photo: Manofan

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Good evening. Please I would like to use this opportunity to tell my husband today that I love him so so much and our main concentration should be on the kids and the future of our marriage. We had a serious fight this morning auntie Abena and I need the views of the Manofans on this. This is not the first time my husband is saying and Ammed darling, I will never support it.

The issue that brought about the fight or misunderstanding is that my husband is always like, “how I wish all married women would support their husbands to marry a second wife.” Like seriously? Or he’ll say, ” a married woman will call the lady her husband will like to marry on phone that ‘I can see my husband wants to date or marry you. No problem you can marry him.'” My goodness ???.

This is about the fourth time he is saying this. He says he supports polygamy 100% but for him he will never practice it but to me indirectly you want me to give you my support to marry a second wife? I asked him why should married women do that and he said so that all women will get husbands. That his grandfather married three women and I asked him did it solve that problem? Your grandfather married 3 women and yet it didn’t solve the problem of some women not getting husbands.

I boldly told my husband that as for me, I will never support nor allow that and if he tries anything silly, I will cut off his manhood and leave him. Then booom ???? he started with, “they said it. They said that people from your town are like that. They warned me about you.”

We have two boys, 6 and 4 years. We have been together for about 9 getting to ten years and all this while he didn’t tell me they told him anything. It’s now that indirectly he needs support from me that he’s telling me they warned him about me.

If there is something wrong with me, sit me down as a wife, a sister and a friend and help me solve it even when it comes to our sex life. I’m a victim of that. My dad did that and we didn’t have the tins we were supposed to have. I had the chance to attend one of the best schools but dad was using all his resources on other women. My mum now is suffering from a lot of sickness because of what my husband wants me to support.

Ammed if you tink I’m not enough for you sweetheart please let me go. I have a lot ahead of me. My husband I love you but you want to solve the problem of Ghanaian women getting husbands. That your grandfather married three women won’t change anything. I know I’m hurt because of what u told me and know you’re also hurt. We are all hurt and thinking about what we heard from the other this morning.

I won’t do the thinking alone. We are in it together. I love you so much and will always do but for this one, it will never happen. What worked in your grandfather’s marriage will never work in yours.

My hubby is on your page and he will see it. My dad did the same thing to my mum and auntie Abena, only God knows. My mum became a drunkard and she is now battling with a lot of sicknesses. I don’t want to go through that. I’m not ready my love.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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