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I Lied about My Tribe and I’m Scared I’ll Lose Her

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

I’ve been crying since last night, begging my wife to forgive me for lying about my tribe. The way she’s talking, I might lose her.

It all started in 2010 when we became friends. Just “hi, hi” stuff mostly. She was then dating one guy in the hood but because of her tribe, his parents disgraced her. She wanted to get a scholarship to school which her boyfriend’s dad could have help her with but when the man got to know of her tribe, he rejected her. My family moved within that period so we lost touch.

We linked up somewhere 2016 and officially started dating in 2017. During the talking stage she spoke bitterly about her ex and how his family treated her. Her family felt so bad that they didn’t want her to marry anyone from that tribe. She even didn’t want anyone like that.

I didn’t know I was going to fall for her so didn’t tell her some truths about me. That 1) I’m her ex’s cousin and 2) we’re from the same tribe. The relationship I was in at that time was on and off so I ended it. I fell for her and we started dating. I didn’t know how to tell her the truth and anytime she asked to see my house I put her off.

Fast forward to 2018, I got a job in the North and moved there. She was posted to Techiman for her Service so I decided to the Knocking. When we met her parents and they asked of my tribe, I told them my father’s side. That my mother too is from there.

I told my parents and begged them not to let them know otherwise they wouldn’t agree. My mother became angry that I wanted to live a lie and washed her hands off it. My wife got to know that my mother didn’t want the marriage and became sad that another family was rejecting her. My old boy stood by me and we did the wedding.

Fast forward to this year May, my wife gave birth and that’s where all the problem started. My mum wanted to get close but my mother-in-law was being difficult due to the issues when we were getting married. My wife also backed her which was making things difficult for me.

Then my cousin, her ex, started calling her to beg for her forgiveness. That was around July. I went to his house to warn him away from her that she’s my wife and I don’t want any issues. He promised to back off which he did.

So I don’t know why my wife recently started to chat with him. She said she’d wanted to know why he suddenly blocked her while asking for forgiveness. That’s when he told her the truth. She asked me yesterday but I couldn’t lie.

She’s so angry with me and packed out of the house with our baby. My mother only said, “I told you so” ????

Auntie Abena, I’ll be lying if I say I don’t love my wife. I love her with my heart and soul that I don’t know what to do now that I’m losing her.

Please help me.

In another story, a lady married her elder sister’s ex and her sister is now angry with her

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Written by Abena Magis

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