I Have Bipolar


Good evening. I trust you are well. I will go straight to the point. I am 27 years and a female. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2017 after a series of depressive bouts that finally led to a suicide attempts on campus. I have been suicidal and randomly assess on a regular which best way to commit suicide so as to not hurt family. Perhaps I’m still alive because I haven’t found any. 

I started with a clinical psychologist on campus but I stopped the sessions because I wasn’t seeing any improvement. I thought there could be an alternative to being on medication or being housed in a psychiatric hospital. I have actually been scheduled to travel within a month to receive treatment at outside. The thought of it suffocates me because I’m sure I will be tagged mad, probably with other mad people.

As expected I am hypersexual as a result and somewhat genophobic. In an attempt to suppress the hypersexuality, and not make a public display of it, I have resorted to porn and I find it calming the urges of sexuality. I have insomnia as well and can stay up hooked on porn till daybreak. For all these years, I have sought help from pastors and all efforts to heal from this has failed. I am by this mail requesting for your assistance, help whichever way. 

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Written by Abena Magis

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