I Forgot to Pay the Bill and She’s Angry

Auntie Abena, I want you to share this for me to hear what the audience have to say. I also want to know if my actions were right or wrong.

I am a young man of 33 years.
Auntie Abena, I was on your SINGLES CONNECT platform barely some weeks ago. I provided my preference of which a lady subsequently asked for my Facebook name instantly. I was having challenges with my network at that time and so you helped by providing her with the name.

Later, I went on Facebook and found out a lady had liked most of my comments on your platform including those that I made previously on my Facebook wall. I thought she was the same lady who requested the details on singles connect until I chat her on Facebook messenger. She was so cool and easygoing. We had a good conversation on messenger and later extended it to phone calls and WhatsApp chat.

We exchanged pictures and deliberated on almost all aspects of life. During our conversation, she told me she was scared to love again because all her relationships ended bitterly. I gave her reasons to believe me and be in a relationship with me. My intentions were genuine as I was looking for a lady I could call my own; a lady who will never cheat on me but bring me peace. I have been a victim of tribal stereotyping and so when I realized she was from the same tribe as I am and of the same faith (church), I thought it would work out. She is age 24.


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Initially, she didn’t believe anything I said because she was of the view that I was dating someone and since we were distant away from each other, she could not have any reason to trust me. She and I are in Kumasi and Koforidua respectively. Based on that, I visited her to allay her fears. She took me to the Kumasi mall and ordered some food. We spent some time there chatting to know ourselves better.

In the evening, she ordered for Bolt transport and we went to the station. She paid for all the bills including the food at the mall. I thought of reimbursing her before leaving but it escaped me. I called her on phone whilst in a car returning to Koforidua and apologized for not reimbursing her. I made a promise to send her the money when I get to Koforidua but she objected to the idea. She told me I shouldn’t pay because she was the one who hosted me. Little did I know that this was gonna create problems.

Auntie Abena, things started to deteriorate few days after I got to Koforidua. She uses two numbers which are in separate phones. They are both on WhatsApp too. I could call her and she’ll tell me to hang on for her to pick a call from the other phone. Immediately, she’ll mute my call and release it when she is done. I complained about her actions and she promised never to repeat it.

Later, I realized she will pick the calls and move away to talk to the unknown caller just to prevent me from hearing anything; then after she is done, she will just be talking loudly to my hearing as if she was talking to the person just to prevent suspicion. I questioned her about this and she got angry. We had a series of arguments over this. I could call her from afternoon to evening without her responding to my call. Later, she will just give excuses.

All this while, I was determined to make things work between us. Somewhere along the line, she told me I was fake and that I was an Opportunist. She even said I was not matured and that she is found out she is matured more than me. She made that accusation because I didn’t pay for the food we ate at the mall. Meanwhile, I wasn’t aware of the time she paid for the food. I got to know when the attendant brought her balance which I planned to reimburse her when leaving.

She continued calling me a gold digger; meanwhile I am never a gold digger. I am a public servant and earn salary. I promised her I would send her the money (total bill which does not even exceed GH¢130.00/$21). She told me it’s over between us and that I should delete her pictures and other memories from my phone.

She called me later at midnight but I couldn’t pick up. I called her the following day but the call was unanswered. She then sent me a message that she was only enquiring whether I had sent the money. I was surprised because she earlier swore that should I pay her the money, she would repay it into my account.

I ended up sending Gh¢202.00 for her to withdraw exactly GH¢200.00 on Friday 18/12/2021 which she never responded as to whether she received same or not. I rather called her to confirm it. After receiving the money, she has blocked my calls, blocked me on WhatsApp and on Facebook.

I just don’t know where I went wrong. I am very depressed right now as all my strides to make this relationship work has yielded no results. I stand to be corrected. If there’s anything I did, audience, kindly point it out for me. I am ready to change and make sure I don’t repeat such things in my next relationship.

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Written by Abena Magis

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