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Help. I Don’t Want Divorce

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Hello Big sister. Please help me resolve this issue. Four years ago, my husband with whom I have two children with, lost his job and started his own small business. To be honest, it wasn’t going well and we had just gotten married. We had two children and things were getting to me yet he didn’t seem worried. I regretted marrying him.

When he was at home, he didn’t help me do anything in the house. He will be behind his laptop or sleep the whole time, didn’t help clean the house nor wash my car. He would not wash the children’s clothes unless I insist on it. Whenever I complained he will say, he doesn’t use my car, he just buys fuel for me to use. And with the issue of cleaning the kitchen, I have a large industrial kitchen because I am caterer and he told me that he doesn’t ask me to come and clean his office. It is my job as a caterer so we should hire an assistant to assist me.  I mean why couldn’t he be helpful?

Yes, I admit he was very helpful in establishing my catering business in the beginning. He got me contracts and helped with other stuff but I did most of the work. Anyways, I am not saying he is bad person, he didn’t collect money from me. He was and is still giving me 1000 cedis a month for house upkeep and pays the children’s schools fees. But that money isn’t enough.

Sometimes I have to add my own money to take care of the house. Wives should not have these problems. He should be the man of the house. I was very unhappy with him so I stopped sleeping with him. I didn’t mean to but he was always annoying me. He doesn’t tell you his plans and he wasn’t ambitious enough for me. So for two years, we didn’t have sex. 

Then recently we had a fight and I said a lot of harsh things. I was tired of him and felt he was wasting my time. He moved out to go rent his own place and now I found out his business is starting to pick up. Now, he comes occasionally to  visit the children and I tried to have sex with him one day. He rejected me and said he had no interest in sleeping with me. Is he sleeping with another lady? Is it why he moved out because of a little fight? I mean which man will go three years without sex? 

Now I am hearing his family are saying he should divorce me but he hasn’t said anything.  What should I do now ? I mean I don’t want to be divorced. 
Please advice me. 

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Written by Abena Magis

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