DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
I want to comment on the story about the man who hid his tribe from his wife. A guy did the same thing to me and it took me months to find out.
I asked his name and other things about him. Hmm. He told me he is from my tribe (withheld). Auntie Abena, I was naive so I believed him. When I took him home, my mum studied him quietly and told me she suspected he is from that particular tribe. I doubted my own mother because he’d sworn to me he isn’t from that tribe.
After some months, something interesting happened. He asked me to get his sim replaced. I went to MTN to get it. The MTN personnel mentioned a name which was different from the name I took there for the replacement. I called this guy and he still lied that the name is for the guy he bought the sim from. He told me not to bother anymore, he will go to the office himself to do it. I left.
Then one day he asked me to get him some papers from his drawer. There I saw his ID cards bearing the name that the mtn guy mentioned. I questioned him and lied that he went to the guy whom he bought the sim from and replaced his pic on his ID for the sim replacement.
Eeiii????????… so what is wrong with you? This time I really doubted him. There were some particular traits about people from his tribe that my mum mentioned so I started studying him. He started exhibiting them. A year later, I saw his mother and whiles talking to me about his parents he forgot himself and mentioned his father’s real name. It was then he confessed he isn’t from my tribe but was scared I won’t accept his proposal.
Well I ended my relationship for that lie. Sometimes it’s not about the love but the lies, deceit and betrayal. No matter your tribe try and tell your loved ones the tribe you come from. I am not tribalistic but no matter what we can’t forgo our traditions in various tribes. I am not married into my tribe but I know a lot about my husband’s tribe so I know what to face presently and in the future rather than living in darkness and just one day you will be faced with uncertainties.
Trust is most important in marriage. Love is not the only thing needed in relationships and marriages. I pray those going in such situations find the right thing to do. God bless you auntie Abena. Keep the fire burning butubutu????????. From an anonymous poster????