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Ghanaian Man Runs Away from South Africa

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Morning Mam. I hope you are doing well.

I have a very disappointing story to tell.

In 2019, I met a man from Ghana here in South Africa who persuaded me to enter into a relationship with him even after I have told him on several occasions that I was not ready for it. Firstly because I was still healing from my previous relationship with the father of my 2 kids who is also from Ghana. And secondly, because he told me that he has a woman he is dating back home and, I don’t date guys that are in a relationship cause that’s cheating and besides I want to be the only Queen.

Now he came back and told me that things weren’t fine between him and the woman even before he left Ghana. That even his whole family including his parents didn’t like the girl and they’ve never approved their relationship. He assured me that they have seperated and that he was moving on with his life with me.

We started seeing each other, everything was fine until Covid. Then things started becoming difficult for him as he wasn’t able to work due to the lockdown and I had to assist him. He then started talking about going back to Ghana as he was a shop there and would be able to support me and the unborn baby (yes I fell pregnant and I am currently in my 8th month).

This is the sad part of my story because after all the promises that he would build for me.

We were even going to start a business together he has now gone back to Ghana and telling me that he cannot continue with me, claiming he never loved me because he is now back with the girl there.

Through the connections I have there, as much as I have told him on several occasions that Ghana is not overseas it’s still part of Africa, I managed to get the girl’s number and I told her everything. She then opened up to me because I came humbly and even apologized for sleeping with her man as I was told she was no longer in the picture. She then informed me that the shop he was talking about is actually hers and that she’s the one who funded his trip to come here (South Africa) and his return trip because he left second week of January 2021.

She also said it’s not the first time he’s done this because he has a 3 year old child there in Tema where they stay with another woman. She added that she wasn’t shocked. I know about the child but he lied to me it was before he met this girl.

After a day, this same girl started sending me threatening messages that I should know that her man is not going to support my unborn child because she was making him not to support the 3 year old he has there as well. She went so far as to even curse my unborn child. That shocked me because I had explained to her that I didn’t want him to come back into my arms but I just wanted him to take responsibility and not run away from his own blood.

As far as I can recall, Ghanaians don’t do that maybe other nations do but I’ve never heard of a Ghanaian running away from his own. She even said she was the reason he was surviving in life because she is supporting him. Okay. That is not my problem if she’s happy with that, good for her. I was only trying to make her see how her men played both of us because she was crying and calling people here when she was unable to get hold him. At that time he was busy with me.

What saddens me is the fact that he didn’t even inform his parents about my pregnancy but because when he got there he called me with his father’s number I managed to call and inform him. The dad then said he was going to ask him if it was true but ever since he (the father) is not taking my calls anymore. As for Edem, the father of my unborn child, has blocked me and my family in all channels. He told the girl there that if he doesn’t have kids with her then he doesn’t have kids.

Now the girl is telling me to go look for the father of my child even after I have sent her all the proof of even fresh chats now that he is there. I am really disappointed at his behavior and I want to inform people there in Ghana of what some South African women are going through.

His behavior didn’t only shock my friends and family but his friends that he left here and some of the other Ghanaians I know, both women and men, are very disappointed and confirming that it is not allowed in that country to throw away your own. They are even trying to help me to send people to his house to speak to his father. All I want is for him to take responsibility of this pregnancy and inform his parents about the baby so that the baby can know that he or she is from Ghana and has a family there that knows of their existence. Nothing is important than knowing where you belong.

Thank you for your time. Please feel free to contact me for any clarity you might require on this story but such men have to be exposed because they’re traveling and putting your respected country to shame and hate from other nations.

Ps: I will bring my kids to Ghana one day.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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