DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,
Hope you are doing well. I really need advice from manofam.
I am 28 years and married for 2 years now with an 18 month old son and pregnant with our second child.
My husband has a problem with me calling him by his first name. I found nothing wrong with it though. I sometimes added the bro to his name before I found out he was cheating on me even before we got married with a girl from him church. She’s 20 years old
This girl can ask him for money and sometimes call him a fool right in my presence but he finds nothing wrong with it.
Note the church members knew about them dating. Some of them told me about it during the early days of our marriage. I asked him about it but he denied saying they were just reading meaning into their friendship. I trusted him and let the matter slide hoping that even if it’s true they would put an end to that.
It got to a point where this my husband’s side chick would ask him money and he would promptly give her. When I ask him the reason for that he’ll tell me he was owing her. I will ask for money and he would tell me he doesn’t have. I kept quiet hoping for better days.
This girl plus her sis would come to our house and call my husband her “BESTIE.” They will watch me cook, then they’ll eat and leave the plates unwashed. My husband can chat with her for a long time but wouldn’t even spend time with me. If I dare complain, I am tagged a nagging wife.
Auntie Abena, after delivering my son I was so depressed that if my mum wasn’t around I might have ended up going insane. I have really endured so much. To the extent that his senior brother who has been staying with us also knew about this.
My husband would even sends gifts items through his big bro to the girl and her family. His pastor cautioned both of them about it. He also begged that I forgave my husband and pray for him which I have been doing
Yesterday, after church he asked me to go home because he wanted to speak to one church member who is the youth leader. NB: my husband is also the youth financial leader while this girl also holds a leadership post. I decided to wait for him regardless.
After his meeting with the guy we set off going home only to hear someone calling him by his first name (he didn’t have any problem with that oo). We turned and it was this girl, asking for money. I was pissed off but maintained my cool. He didn’t give her the money and we left
On the way home, I called him by his first name to wait for me as I couldn’t walk faster to catch up with him. There norrr he dared me call him again by his first name saying I had no respect. I was surprised and asked him that the person who called him earlier was much younger than myself. He had no problem with it so why he complaining if I called him by his name? Also, respect is earned oo.
There norr he bore even till this morning. He didn’t give me money but gave his bro and niece money for food. He stopped me from working due to my pregnancy.
I want to go to my mum’s place for now but I don’t want a situation where I’ll leave and be blamed for being impatient.
Note this girl sleeps with anything she can get money from. She’s now an immigration person thanks to some politicians. My husband connected her to his boss who later complained of having infection after sleeping with this girl.