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Did He Use Me Just For His Pleasure?

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

Please hide my identity.
Good morning Aunty Abena. I’m an ardent reader and I refer a lot of friends here when I can’t help them solve their issues.

Never thought I’ll be here myself sharing my issue amidst tears. I’m broken, how do I get the strength to move on? I met this guy and it’ll be exactly 2yrs in October.

Before then, I was dating a guy that we had finished buying almost all things required for marriage. We agreed on buying everything because we wanna settle down immediately after the knocking, my ex’s behavior changed. I wasn’t broken because I saw it coming and it was months later I met this gentleman and we started talking.

I felt so comfortable talking to him so when he asked to be my boyfriend I accepted. He changed after few months into the relationship but he said he was always busy at work and that, I took in good faith.

Months down the line and apparently he confessed he was still in contact with his ex because of something he promised to do. I thought about it and later concluded we needed to break up but he refused.

Aunty Abena, I’ll always bring it up that we break up so I heal rather than later when I can’t do anything about it but he’ll refuse. On few occasions, I went to his place and saw a lady’s sandals, towel and sponge but I’ve never asked him anything about it.

On one occasion I saw strands of hair in his room and he said his sister had come around and combed her hair, I took it in good faith. I don’t ask him for money or for him to buy anything for me. I’ve never spent a whole day at my boyfriend’s place before Aunty.

Aunty all this while I wanted a break up he refused and it’s now that I’ve gotten used to his ways that he asked this question. I chose to break up but I knew I loved him and that’s not what I wanted. I was saying all this to at least get an assurance that he cares and wanna be with me. I blocked him on call, he got angry and I unblocked him. I wanted to cut everything but I just couldn’t aunty.

Then I relaxed and we’ve been talking cool for few days once in a while. This morning I woke up and had this strong urge to text him on WhatsApp but I was blocked, I tried calling his phone and my number was blacklisted and of course he forgot to block my second number so I called with that and it went through. Why are some of us unlucky with love? I told everyone off me because of him, what did I do wrong that I’m never good enough? At least he should have the guts to tell me he found another but no, he chose to hurt me like this.

Where do I start from, for all these months we’ve been together he doesn’t even know where I stay. I was a month and two weeks pregnant and I didn’t even know myself, I tripped and fell down and was having waist pain only to wake up to blood oozing out of me, went to the hospital and was told I had a miscarriage. Aunty Abena it was the day after I came home from the hospital he asked if I still wanted this relationship, if not for this miscarriage I’d have been a single mother.

All of this I haven’t told him because we barely communicate. Why are some men like this? Was I only good for sex and not commitment?

Want to share your story anonymously?
Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by East@Edito468

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