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My Dad Fought with My Ex to Leave Me

DEAR AUNTIE ABENA,

This is in response to the lady who said her parents are insisting she leaves her guy because she’s a graduate whiles he’s not. I want to tell her to beg her parents to give him a chance and talk to respected people to also talk to them.

I was 27 and my ex was 34. We met whiles I was in school. He was such a responsible guy that within 2 weeks of our dating, he’d already introduced me to his parents, siblings and friends, though I felt it was too soon.

He understood me and waited for me before introducing him to my parents after 6 months of dating. They accepted him and we were both happily dating. I finished school, finished National Service and traveled outside for 2 years and came back. He now wanted to marry me but my family said no.

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My dad told me that not only was I a graduate but had also traveled whiles he was an SHS graduate working at a cement shop. A guy who though working at a shop still provided everything I needed. When my parents delayed in paying my fees, he paid and paid for my hostel fees, books, everything without one complaint. Always ready to help and be there for me.

When my parents realized I wasn’t interested in calling it off, they started calling to threaten him. We spoke and I told him to bring his parents along. I planned this surprise visit of my parents so that we could trash all this. My own father slapped this guy and hooked him by his shirt, ready to throw him out. The guy’s parents didn’t allow my dad to get away with it and also held him by his shirt which led to a serious fight with insults.

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After that day, the guy distanced himself because of the hurtful things my parents told him. I didn’t blame him but I was in pain. My parents especially my dad was being difficult so I also stopped calling the guy. Fast forward to 2 years later he got married and auntie Abena if you see him now, his wife is a graduate and the car he’s bought for her, I always feel jealous.

It’s been almost 7 getting to 8 years since then and I’m still not married. The graduates that my father prefers come and go and I’m not growing any younger. I told my dad last year that this year, I’ll marry any serious guy whether he’s a graduate or not.

If he doesn’t agree then I’ll get pregnant for someone because I’m almost 40 years and never given birth. He didn’t say anything because he’s been seeing my ex and knows how rich the guy is now. He knows how unfairly he treated him.

I know our parents want the best for us and don’t want us to make mistakes but they should remember that though we’re their kids, we’re adults too. We’re old enough to make our own mistakes and learn from them. My dad should have allowed me to marry this guy. If the marriage worked or not, it was my decision. I didn’t fight for this guy and I’m regretting it. Nana Abankwa, if you read this, I’m still sorry for the slaps my dad gave you and hope you’ve forgiven him.

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Abena Magis

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One Comment

  1. Story yei yɛ kama but very sad… your parents have really blocked something good. And you not fighting for him should be what you should apologjze for not the slaps. You stopped calling the guy not just bcos your parents were being difficult. For some reasons I feel like your conscience were with your parents one way or the other

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