Advice – Don’t Judge By Appearance


I would like to share something on how possible it is to meet good men. What we should avoid though is judging them by appearance.

I met a guy on Facebook that was somewhere around 2013. We started talking on Facebook and later on phone. Because he was in Accra and I in Kumasi, we couldn’t find time to meet. I was in JHS 2 by then and he was in the university, level 200.

Per our conversation he seemed like a very intelligent, smart, etc person, so I liked him very much. We spoke almost every day.
After a year of talking on the phone, he told that he wanted to see me. I said okay and told him he should come to where I stay because my mom wouldn’t allow me come to Accra. He agreed

My mom is my best friend and I tell her everything so the day he would come, she took her phone from me that if he calls she will pick and direct him straight to the house. I was in the room when I heard some sounds and knew he was in.

She welcomed and spoke to him for about 20 minutes before calling me out. Hhmm auntie Abena, immediately I saw him I ran back inside the room. My mom called me and insulted me that I lacked manners.

The reason I ran inside because I was disappointed in his physical appearance. He wasn’t handsome, he was an average looking guy though but my problem was he was too short for me. In my family we’re all tall from 6ft. I’m the shortest being 5″10 and he was about 5″7. I had always wanted someone taller than me so you can imagine my disappointment.

My mom came into the room and asked why I ran. I told her my problem and she talked to me about how that doesn’t matter. She said she’d seen greatness in the young man so I should go and apologize for what I did. I did just what I was told and we started flowing again.

After JHS, things were not looking that good financially for my family so I told my mom I wanted to go to Accra to stay with an aunt. There, I could work until our results come for to go to school. My guy got me a job but when our results came, my money wasn’t enough. My mom also couldn’t really help

My guy took it upon himself to pay all my fees. When my mom got me provision he still top up with extra provision. This was the norm until I completed. Even though I saw cute guys in school, they never got to me because I had become so used to my guy’s charisma that any guy that approached me wasn’t interesting.

After SHS, it was just me and him. He looked for work for me which I gladly accepted. He was also working in one good company. My results came and even though I got 5As, I failed in Maths. He told me if I want, I can write the Math again but I told him no. He was okay with it but wanted me to do a UK based professional course.

I started from level two, got a diploma certificate and later did the professional certificate. He paid the registration of all my fees. I was able to get a job as a procurement manager in a company and later applied for distance learning in one of the universities. It wasn’t necessary but I still did it. This time I told him I will pay my fees.

We had our back and forth but he finally said if I need anything he is there. I knew he was my rock. My dad wasn’t there to take me through school. No family member did. It was my mom and my guy throughout. Now that I was working, I was able to help my siblings with school and other stuffs.

We put money together and we are now building a home together. We got married last year February and everything is moving on by the grace of God. I have grown to love him endlessly. If it is possible I would say he is a perfect man. He’s never shouted on me even on days when I know I should be shouted on he will find a way to salvage the situation.

My long story is just to tell people that there are good people out there. It’s just that sometimes they don’t come with the shape looks and appearance we prefer.

It doesn’t matter if the person is short, tall etc just look for the good in him or her and open your heart and love them. You might get rid of a good girl or guy just because of looks. I really appreciate my mom for talking sense into me that day.

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Written by Abena Magis

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